Fruit Of A Vengeful Heart
by DramaQueenNmber1
Summary: All Tilly Bernadotte has is her older brother, Pip and their pack of ragamuffin soldiers. When the mysterious Hellsing organization hires them, will it be the pay of a lifetime? Or the one thing that rips her world apart? OC Don't like don't read.
1. Chapter 1

_"What does it do Pip?"_

_She looked up at him with large blue eyes. Her dark red curls were beginning to come loose from her braid._

_"It makes things go BOOM!"_

_She jumped as his voice echoed around the trees._

_"Pip? When are we going to go home?" _

_Pip looked at his nine year old sister. The only family he had left._

_He took her hand and pointed down the muddy path._

_"This is our home now __**peu tireur**__(Little Gunner)." _

_She looked up at him once again, only this time, tears were gathering in her eyes._

_"No, no, my little one, don't be sad!"_

_He pointed down the path once again._

_"Now we'll always be home."_

**Present Day, Wild Geese HQ, London**

"You did WHAT!"

My voice went up an octave higher on the last word causing my brother, the wuss, to cover his ears.

"How could you do something like this? Do you have any idea what could happen with an offer like this?"

Pip Bernadotte smirked and kicked his feet up on his desk.

"What does that have to do with anything? We are a very accepting people peu tireur."

"Don't start that bullshit again Pip. You can't just start accepting jobs just because there's a price tag involved!"

She turned away from him and crossed her arms.

"But if you want us all to die some gruesome death or disappear off the face of the Earth, I guess that's fine too!"

The smile had disappeared from my brother's face as he leaned forward.

"I respect your opinion Mathilda,"

I flinched at the sound of my real name.

"But, as a 13 year old girl you don't really have a say in where we go, or why. You're here to cook."

"You sexist fuck." I said as I sat back down

He smirked again. Couldn't go five seconds without that thing plastered to his face.

"That's why the men keep me around."

I sighed and pushed myself out of the chair I had plopped into.

"I won't question your decisions frère aîné (older Brother). Just your sanity."

I started to walk out of his tent, when a question came to mind.

"What is the name of this place?"

"Hellsing, it's some sort of organization."

I snorted. Hellsing.

How very appropriate.

**Two days later, Hellsing Mansion, London**

I really did not have a good feeling about this place.

As we carried our measly belongings up the paved driveway, I caught sight of armed guards on a covered terrace about 20 meters away from us.

"Would you look at this place Tilly! I haven't even seen pyramids this big!"

"You've never seen a pyramid Pip."

"What's your point?"

I sighed and blew a red curl out of my face. It had been a long walk in the rain and I was getting really irritated by the fact that my socks could now constitute as washcloths.

As we neared the door Jonathon, another of the Wild Geese, elbowed me on the shoulder as he whispered.

"They even have a butler. How do you like them apples?"

I looked at the door and saw a very snappily dressed older man with dark hair in a ponytail.

"Welcome to Hellsing. My name is Walter and I am the retainer of this estate. Please come this way. Sir Integra wishes to speak to all of you."

He finally closed his mouth long enough to actually look at us, his eyes widened when they landed on me.

"I am so sorry; we only prepared one of our barracks for you. We didn't know you had a lady-"

He was cut off by everyone's roaring laughter.

"Tilly? A lady? Oh that's rich."

"Watch out Walter my friend, she might blow-"

I elbowed Pip in the gut before he could finish.

"Don't worry 'bout me. As they said, I'm no lady."

The butler, Walter, gave me a cynical look before motioning us to follow him.

Walter basically let us in the front door to shove us out the back one where the barracks were located.

"Please make yourselves comfortable. Sir Integra wishes to speak with you as soon as possible."

I hefted my bag off my shoulders onto a cot and stretched. I was about to throw myself down on it when Walter came up behind me.

"Sir Integra Wishes to speak with you immediately."

I didn't even blink I simply followed Walter out of the tent.

Who did this Sir Integra think he was? And why in the name of Hell did he want to talk to me?

I soaked in the mansion as we walked down corridor after corridor. Somber paintings of unsmiling men lined the walls. When we came to a large oak door Walter stopped.

"They are expecting you."

They?

Keeping one eye on Walter I turned the knob and was greeted by two figures silhouetted against the dim afternoon gray.

One was standing; I assumed it was male by the broad shoulders and height. He was wearing some kind of huge hat. The other was seated.

"You wanted to speak with me?"

The seated figure raised its head.

"Yes, I did. Have a seat."

Sir indeed. It was a bloody woman who was the Lord of this place.

I stood standing, not moving a muscle.

"Have it your way."

What did she want? I just wanted to stretch out on my cot and take a nap. What was so bloody important?

"How old are you?"

"13."

"Hmmm."

There was a flare of light, and the stench of cigars hit my nose.

"And just what are you doing here?"

I was taken aback by her question.

"'Scuse me?"

She gave an irritated sigh and came out from behind her desk. I caught a glimpse of long blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.

"What. Are. You. Doing here?"

I finally decided to just answer straight.

"I'm a one of the mercenaries that you hired."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"What do you contribute?"

I hesitated. I didn't want to give away my position this soon in the working relationship, but she was paying me.

"Bombs."

She turned to the figure, which had stayed silent this whole time, and spoke.

"Alucard?"

Quick as lightning he was in front of my face, silently smelling the air.

His voice made my spine shiver like someone was dragging their fingernails on stone. But it was deep.

"She smells of gunpowder Master. As well as sulfur, salt, iron-"

"That's enough."

The man, Alucard, stopped speaking and resumed his position behind Sir Integra.

"Do you have any idea what we do here at the Hellsing Organization?"

"Nope."

Her questions were beginning to irritate me. Her tone was demeaning; she spoke slowly, as if talking to a mental invalid.

"Alucard, show her."

The man was once again in my face, only now I could see his face.

He was deathly pale, his features carved and chiseled as if out of marble. His black hair fell around his broad shoulders, it never quite stood still.

His mouth began to quirk upward slowly. He looked like he was going to smile.

Instead he was showing me his fangs. I felt my eyes grow wide as his canines became longer and pointier.

"That's right. He is a vampire. One of the eternally damned, but also my servant."

I swallowed; it felt as if Alucard's presence was closing in on me, suffocating me from the inside.

"He is also the creatures we hunt. That is why we hired the Wild Geese. Now what is a child, like you, going to be able to do? In our battles we have countless men die and be reborn as bloodsucking ghouls. How is a 13 year old, a mere child-"

I'd had enough.

I shoved the vampire out of my way and went right up to Sir Stick-up-my-ass.

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I HAVE DONE!"

I slammed my hands down on her desk, shaking her brass paperweights.

"YOU HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST INKLING OF WHAT I HAVE HAD TO DO JUST TO STAY ALIVE! I HAVE HAD TO SHOVE KNIVES THROUGH MEN WHO HAD NO FACES! I HAVE HAD TO TRAVEL AROUND WITH A BUNCH OF MEN WHO ARE PAID TO KILL!"

I could see her face through the smoke. There was nothing. How I so wanted to show her, to wipe that smirk right off her face.

"YOU THINK YOU HAVE HARD? TRY LIVING WITH 45 SOLDIERS CRAMMED IN CAVES NO BIGGER THAN THIS ROOM! IF YOU THINK THAT I'M SCARED OF DEATH OR BLOODSUCKING GHOULS YOU HAVE ANOTHER THING COMING!"

I stood there breathing hard, but I was nowhere near done.

I whirled around and pointed a gunpowder stained finger at the vampire.

"AND YOU!"

I poked his chest.

"YOU COME WITHIN TWO FEET OF ME WITH YOUR FANGS OUT I WILL BLOW SO MANY FUCKING HOLES THROUGH YOU, YOU'RE OWN MAMA WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU!"

I whirled back around to Sir Integra to see her lighting another cigar.

She sat down in her chair and smirked.

"You will get along just fine here."

I blinked.

What?

I took another deep breath and shoved a loose hair behind my ear.

"Well, I'm glad we understand each other, Sir Integra."

With that I walked out of the study.

"Well what did she want?"

Pip had been bugging about my private meeting with the head Hellsing for 10 minutes now.

"I told you she was just making sure I was going to be able to handle it here. Why do you want to know?"

Pip looked at his boots.

"Fine don't tell me."

He sighed and ruffled my hair.

"How long has it been since you've run a brush through this mess? Come here."

I gave in to his pestering and sat down between his legs as he took out my long red braid.

His hands were gentle as he ran a comb through my hair, getting out all the snags and bits of nature that had wedged themselves in it. I closed my eyes; this made me feel like a little kid again.

All too soon he was done, we switched places and I began unraveling his braid.

This was what we had done together when our parents had first died. We would comb each other's hair and rebraid it. Just so we knew that the other was there, and hadn't disappeared, like our mom and dad. It brought back feelings of comfort.

I lay down in my cot with my newly brushed hair.

"G'night Pip."

"Good night Tilly."

Even though I was tired as all get out, and the cot was surprisingly comfortable, an uneasy settled in my stomach like a stone.

I really didn't like it here.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone I totally forgot to say this last time but I do not own Hellsing and I hope you enjoy the story! Please Review!**

**Note: I am using dialogue from Hellsing Ultimate just to stay true to the story, so please, don't be hatin'.**

There was nothing.

The slimy, moss covered stones seemed to move closer and closer with my every breath. Water was wearing away my skin to the bone. My lungs constricted and breath was but a happy memory.

"Jesus Christ!"

I felt my fist connect with skin and bone.

"What did you do?"

"I was just trying to wake her up!"

I opened my eyes to see Jonathon clutching his jaw and Pip busting a gut.

So you hold my nose? What the hell is wrong with you Jon!"

I threw my blanket off and stretched. I had fallen asleep in my clothes so I was still damp from yesterday's rain. It also meant I was a bit ripe; A fact which Pip pointed out by holding his nose and falling back on his cot, his tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.

"Very funny Pip. You don't exactly smell like a field of wildflowers!"

He and Jonathon just kept laughing and I raised my fist.

"Maybe I'll just break your noses and save you the trouble of smelling at all!"

Pip raised his hands in surrender then rubbed the bandage in his very straight nose.

"No need peu tireur, you taught me that lesson years ago."

I smirked.

"If you're done acting like toddlers I'm going to find a place to bathe."

Pip was still chuckling when I walked out of the barracks.

I wandered around until I found the bath house. I walked in to the side marked "Ladies" only to find that I wasn't the only female in this organization.

Sitting in the hot bathwater was a blond girl in her mid-twenties I guessed. She was just staring down in the water but when she heard me her head snapped up and I caught a glimpse of her bright red eyes.

"I-I'm sorry. I'll leave."

I averted my eyes as she climbed out of the water, but not before I got a look at her huge knockers. I glared down at my own chest, wondering why they couldn't come out of hiding like hers had.

When she had a robe on she came over to me and looked at me curiously.

"I didn't know there was a girl with the new recruits. What's your name?"

I once again looked into her blood red eyes, there was something unnerving and slightly frightening about them, but at the same time there was an innocence you really didn't expect.

"Tilly. Tilly Bernadotte."

She smiled.

"I'm Seras Victoria. I don't mean to be rude, but your accent is very. . ."

Her eyes rolled up as if she was looking into her skull for the right words.

"Unfamiliar."

I smirked.

"French."

She smiled once again and I saw a sight that made my eyes grow wide.

Fangs.

I jumped back about a foot in pure shock.

She was one of . . . _**them**_. Like that bastard I had met last night.

Her smile vanished.

"I'm sorry! I didn't meant to frighten you! I know you must not be used to this kind of thing! I am so stupid sometimes-!"

I cut her off.

"You just took me by surprise."

She pursed her lips until they were a thin line, then she stuck out her hand.

"I hope you'll feel at home here Tilly. It'll be nice not to be the only girl here." I reached for her hand, but hesitated. What would it feel like?

She smiled a little sadly and put her hand down.

"I'll be seeing you around then."

I nodded.

After she left I tore off my clothes and jumped in the water. The hot water seeped into my bones and I let out a contented sigh.

After spending an unholy amount of time in the I went to go look for Pip, see what was next. Instead I found the butler, Walter.

"Miss Tilly I've been looking for you. Your group is in a meeting with Sir Integra and I assume you wish to be present."

I followed Walter into the main house but he led me down different corridors this time. We ended up at a conference room, only without any furniture.

I saw Pip and went to go stand by him, I also the girl, Seras, I had met in the bath house. She was in a yellow uniform with the Hellsing crest sewn on the breast pocket. Apparently I had missed something because Pip was giving her an extremely incredulous look and then started laughing.

"You're telling me that this little girl is a vampire? You're joking!"

He walked up to her. He had a good two feet on her but she stared up at him, somewhat sheepishly.

"So you are really a vampire?"

She smirked.

"Yes, I am. Hello!"

Her voice was very chipper, which was what made him lose it.

Every single one of the men was holding their sides. Now that I really looked at the situation I could see why they would find it so funny. Seras' smile vanished as she looked at Sir Integra who was standing in the other corner.

"I get the feeling their laughing at me, Sir."

It was Integra's turn to smirk.

"Then show them something to make them stop, Police girl."

"Right! Of course Sir!"

Seras saluted then gave Pip a smile.

Pip only started laughing harder.

"If this is a vampire then I'm Frankenstein's monster!"

He brought his arms up and started moving toward her. Much like he did with me when we were younger and he would chase me around.

Quick as a blink Seras poked him.

Pip yelled and blood started pouring from his nose. Seras wasn't through yet though. She kept poking him until he landed on his ass right in front of me. It was my turn to start laughing.

"Captain are you alright?"

"She just. . . Kept . . . poking! It was so fast . . . and my head. ."

I kneeled down beside him and whispered,

"Serves you right you sexist ass."

He grinned at me.

"So you're really telling me that that girl is a . . . Vampire?"

"Damn right she is."

The voice was deep and familiar and my spine instantly tensed up. I looked at the door to see him enter, but instead his red hat came through . . . The wall.

"This girl may be the lowest of the low, but a vampire is still a vampire."

Everyone gasped and exclaimed in surprise more than fear, even me, as he came farther out of the wall.

"What a pathetic bunch of sniveling cowards. I don't think they'll be of any use to us."

Walter then ran into the room.

"I am sorry Ma'am I did try to stop him."

Alucard came completely out of the wall. He looked at all of us the way a hound dog looks at a shot duck.

"These men are going to be guarding me while I sleep. I wanted to take their measure."

He kept giving us that condescending smirk; I could barely take it anymore. I stood up with my fists clenched, ready to show him who was a sniveling coward when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

Pip was giving Alucard a polite but tense stare. He pulled me closer and whispered.

"Go back to the barracks Tilly, I don't want you around the likes of him."

I sighed.

"_**If only you knew."**_

But I felt if I stayed in that room any longer I'd end up blowing it to bits, so I left without any argument.

I walked down the different corridors, only getting myself more lost without Walter to guide me through this hoity toit maze.

After about 15 minutes of mindless wandering I finally leaned against a bookcase to get my bearings. But apparently that wasn't the best place to stop, because as soon as I put my full weight against it it began to turn. . . Taking me with it.

"Shit. Dammit! FUCK!"

I banged against the back of the book shelf. It was completely dark in here and smelled like rat shit and dead spiders.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?"

I hit it again, but feebly. This was entirely too much for just one day. I turned around into the dark, even though my eyes had adjusted, I still couldn't see the hand in front of my face.

I took a small flashlight out of my pocket, praying to whatever God there was out there the batteries still worked. Thankfully they did.

I looked down to see that if I had taken a half a step forward I would have fallen down an extremely steep set of stone stairs. I looked back at the bookshelf, then back to the stairs.

"_**It can't be that bad, stop being such a puss."**_

With a deep breath, I took off down the stairs.

**Please review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yes I am updating again. Why? Because I have no life. Anyway, thank you all for your reviews they have been greatly appreciated. I do not own Hellsing.**

As I walked down the darkened corridor, the walls came in closer together in places, making me hyperventilate, but widened to almost twice the size in others. I kept one hand on the wall because if I walked down the middle the darkness swallowed everything, making it seem smaller.

The knot that had formed in my stomach earlier began tightening as the corridor widened and became less . . . Grimy. The chill in the air seemed amplified, bringing with it the sharp odor of fear.

"_Now why the hell do they have secret passages? Maybe back during the first World War they were used for hiding. But there are no food storages, so maybe this leads outside the gates. Yeah, that's probably it."_

Every sound was amplified down here. I could hear every step, breath, and heartbeat. Each one of them pounding in my skull creating some kind of twisted symphony.

"A little lost are we?"

I turned abruptly only to have my flashlight knocked out of my hand.

A candle flickered to life on a little table beside a wooden chair, a throne. A throne holding the arrogant King of Shadows.

I stood my ground as he sat in a relaxed position with his legs crossed.

"Maybe I am. What's it to you?"

He chuckled.

"You are too insolent for your own good."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

The only reply was another heart stopping chuckle.

"The thing you should know about this mansion. These corridors were built specifically for me, making them my domain."

He stood up and looked me up and down.

"Anyone who wanders here is fair game . . . In a way they would not be up there."

I felt a drop of sweat roll down my temple. He was getting entire too close now. The stench of power was so strong I wanted to retch, but I stood perfectly still. Any sudden movements and he would strike.

But this was no wild animal. This was a monster. A monster which fed on human blood, it was ingrained in every muscle, memory, and bone to kill. He didn't need any signal from me.

I felt his cold breath on my neck.

"It has been so long since I tasted child-blood. It is so very . . .Rare."

I moved with a speed that was bred from pure fear. I ripped the grenade pin out and shoved my hand into his wide open mouth.

"TASTE THIS YOU BLOOD-SUCKING FUCK!"

I pulled my hand from his mouth and ran behind his chair. There was a burning in my wrist, but I couldn't think about that now.

There was a huge _KWA-POW!_ And you could hear the bits of flesh and bone raining down on the stone floors.

I jumped up from my spot to see the Vampire splattered all over every surface. It was a sickening, yet satisfying sight.

I walked over to where half his jaw had landed and kicked it against the wall.

"That's for the sniveling cowards comment."

I turned to leave when a burning pain ran up my arm and into my chest.

"AGH!"

I collapsed to my knees clutching my wrist. I looked down and saw that my hand and forearm had turned a repulsive shade of brown and blood was oozing through my fingertips.

"_Wha- What is this? Shit, that bastard! He did . . . Something."_

I turned my hand in front of my eyes and saw two scratches starting from my knuckles all the way to the end of my wrist.

"_I must. . . have scratched. . . his fangs."_

My vision was becoming blurry and the pain was making me weak in the knees.

I staggered to my feet and ran down the corridor. My vision faded in and out but I hoped beyond all hope that a door lay somewhere.

It wasn't long before my vision went tunnel and the cold stone floor welcomed me with a cold embrace.

All was peaceful.

I was floating in warm water, little fishes darting around me and tickling my back and neck. There was only a full white moon above me. I reached up my arm as if to touch it. I had almost reached it when a pain beyond words ripped through my entire body.

The scream I let loose made me feel like I had swallowed sand. But it was all I could do. If I hadn't, I would have ripped open from the inside. I felt bile rise in my throat. I turned my head to the side and vomited. I gasped for air and coughed as the contents of my stomach emptied on the floor.

"What are you doing to her Walter!"

"This needs to be done Seras, otherwise she would die."

"_The let me die peacefully you old busybody!"_

But even as I thought it, Pip's face floated before me. What would he do? No doubt make stupid decisions that would get him and the entire regiment killed. I had to stay.

For them.

I heard a muffled banging and Pip's voice.

"What the fuck is going on! Let me in! I need to see her!"

"Seras, keep him busy."

"But-"

"Now, Seras."

A moment of silence.

"Yes sir."

The sound of a door opening and shutting.

A cool hand covered my eyes and I felt cloth against my mouth, wiping away the vomit. Words that sounded like they were painted from Death left my lips.

"What the hell did you do to me?"

A small chuckle.

"You were very lucky Miss Tilly. Not many could come in contact with vampire venom and live. It was quite short notice but it has been contained."

I looked down at my arm and saw a silver cuff that went from my wrist halfway up my forearm, stopping near the crease of my elbow.

"You didn't . . . answer the question."

"It is a cuff made from pure blessed silver. It will contain the vampire venom in your system."

"When do I take it off?"

"You don't."

I paused. The censors in my brain sluggishly processed this information.

"What? Why not?"

Walter rubbed his temples.

"Because then the vampire venom would just continue to spread until it reached your heart. Effectively killing you."

I looked back down at the cuff. It was cool now, but the way it had burned me before . . . I had never felt anything like that. And I doubt I ever would again.

"Is Sir Integra angry?"

Walter looked up from my arm.

"Why would she be?"

Oh, I don't know. I only repainted the basement with the organizations most powerful resource.

"Because I killed Alucard."

Walter didn't chuckle this time. He let out a full blown laugh straight from his belly.

"I assure you Miss Tilly, Sir Integra is not angry."

"_This mansion is a never ending parade of freaks."_

The door burst open, causing me to jump and jostle my arm again.

"Tilly!"

Pip ran over to me and pushed a wayward curl off my forehead.

"Does it hurt? Why were you screaming? You sounded like someone stuck a poker up your-"

Seras put her gloved hand over his mouth.

"Sorry Walter. He played the 'she's my only family' card."

Walter just looked disapprovingly at both of them.

Pip ripped his face away from Seras' hand and was about to spew more verbal diarrhea, as he was bound to do, when he caught sight of the cuff.

"Do you promise she'll be alright Walter?"

"She'll be as right as rain in a few days Mr. Bernadotte."

Pip ran his hand over my hair one last time before whispering;

"I'm right outside the door if you need me."

As he and Seras left, Integra entered the room, my eyes widened in shock when I saw Alucard standing outside the door as well.

"I wanted to congratulate you on your somewhat messy performance in the dungeons last night."

I stayed silent, I never knew with Sir Integra if I was being pardoned, or condemned.

I looked back at the door.

"Apparently I didn't quite finish."

Integra lit up a cigar.

"Nevertheless. You're actions were impudent and irresponsible. Because of your desperate attempt to get out of danger you were injured because of a very stupid miscalculation."

She took another puff.

"Know the facts before you go into battle. Then pray to God you'll still have all your limbs in the end."

I nodded.

"Yes, Sir Integra."

I was in no mood to tell her off. Tell her that it was none of her business.

She straightened and said as she headed out the door;

"Once you've recovered you will begin training with the other recruits."

I lay my head back and looked at the white ceiling of the infirmary. I sneered as I imagined her cold blue eyes boring into mine.

"Yes, Sir Integra."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hello everyone! I hope you all are enjoying the story because I am having a sinful amount of fun writing it. I do not own Hellsing nor any of the characters (besides Tilly) so please read and enjoy!**

After a few days under Walter's extremely good watch, I was on the mend. Having the silver cuff on all the time was a pain in the ass. It made it hard to maneuver my arm, not to mention it chaffed like a son of a bitch. Seras and Pip came in to talk to me at least twice a day when they weren't training. Seras always asked me how I was feeling, Pip told me I was going to get my ass kicked when I got out onto the field.

The day I began my official training as a Hellsing Organization goon, dawned like any other London day. It was gray and damp, the kind that makes you feel like there's mold growing in the every crevice of your body and in your bone marrow. My first exercise was to fence with an artificial ghoul that had motion detectors.

"Come on now little one, show that machine who's boss!"

I growled as I took another hit from the dummy.

"No one asked you Pip!"

The foil was awkward and unbalanced in my hand. I held it straight out in front of me with both hands, yet I still couldn't hit any vital spots.

"Oh fuck this!"

I threw down the foil and drew out my Colt Python Revolver, and shot that poor ghoul where it stood.

I smiled at my handiwork.

"Congratulations, you have effectively failed."

I turned to see Sir Integra standing at the door with her trademark cigar in her mouth.

"I hit him didn't I?"

She stiffened a bit at my tone, it pleased me to see her react, however small the reaction was.

Without another word, she drew her sword she carried with her at all times on the training fields.

"Do you know why swords were considered so effective?"

"I suppose because guns didn't exist yet."

Her eyes narrowed.

"Because they never ran out of bullets."

With that, she lunged.

20 minutes later, sweat was pouring down my face and I had three brand new scratches. Courtesy of Integra Hellsing and her damned sword. Yet she barely had a hair out of place.

I dropped the sword they had provided me with after I dodged her first attack, and put my hands in front of me.

"Pick it up."

"Not until you stop attacking me like a madwoman! I've been at it for hours now, if I could just rest!"

"GHOULS DO NOT REST!"

Her voice echoed throughout the chamber, the power resonant in ever syllable.

"DO YOU THINK BLOOD THIRSTY CREATURES REST WHEN THERE IS BLOOD TO BE HAD? NO THEY DO NOT!"

She lowered her voice to a dangerous tone.

"Therefore, neither does the Hellsing Organization! You may believe what you want to, insolent child. But when the time comes you will be facing plain old fashioned monsters."

She sheathed her sword.

"You are a part of the Hellsing Organization, and you do not rest."

I stood there, stunned at her outburst. I felt that back of my throat close, and my chin trembled. I would not cry on a battlefield. No matter when, no matter why, I could not.

Especially not in front of her.

"Yes, Sir Integra. Understood."

But she had already left.

The next morning I woke before dawn. I could hear Pip's heavy breathing and Jonathon's snoring, it was a comforting sound, the lullaby I had lived with practically my whole life.

I quietly got out of my got and left the barracks. Breathing in the cool morning air burned my lungs a bit, but it had a cleansing feeling to it.

Yesterdays events came back to me like an unpleasant taste after a belch. I had been humiliated and demeaned, even after I had tried to prove my worth. Not to mention it had been in front of my comrades!

I gritted my teeth, maybe if I ground hard enough yesterday would disappear.

I opened my eyes and looked up at the waning moon.

I couldn't make it disappear, but maybe, it was a long shot, but maybe I could out a veil over it with today.

With a smirk, and a renewed blood lust, I headed for the training grounds.

"Alright, foil. You are very flimsy, and very weird looking, but we have to work as a team, you hear me? These ghouls are not just going to leave us be. Now you can make this easy, or I could break you in half and get a new one got it?"

I took the defensive stance and pressed the red button. The motion sensitive ghoul came at me with a speed that should not be legal when on a training ground, but I waited.

When the ghoul was only feet away from me I took a lunging step forward keeping my back foot completely rooted, and swung the foil as to "cut off" the "ghouls" head as instructed.

The loud buzzer was grating in my ears.

I hadn't waited long enough. My foil had reached the ghouls neck. But had this been a real battle, it only would have scratched him. And I would be, for lack of a better word, screwed.

"DAMMIT! SHIT! I THOUGHT WE HAD A DEAL FOIL!"

"I didn't know inanimate objects were capable of bargaining."

I jumped and saw Walter standing at the door way smirking.

"Don't do that Walter, you scared the shit out of me."

"My apologies."

I put the foil down and sat next to it. I brought my knees up to my chin and sighed.

"Why can't I do it Walter? Everyone else seems to get the hang of these damn things, but I just. . .can't."

He came up and stood next to me.

"That word should never be in the vocabulary of a Hellsing soldier."

I looked up at him. He was standing ramrod straight. His hands folded behind his back. You wouldn't know it by looking at his slightly relaxed position, but he was well on guard, ready for whatever fuckery life threw at him.

I stood up and looked at the "ghoul". Seeing where my foil had scratched just brought back the humiliation and anger of yesterday. I kicked my foil across the room with an angry grunt.

"Sir Integra is right! What am I going to be able to do on a battlefield? The only thing I know how to do is shoot!"

"I very much doubt that Miss Tilly. Didn't you use a grenade against Alucard the other night?"

"Well. . . Yeah. But that was my last one!"

Walter turned towards me and his monocle gleamed.

"Then make more."

I looked at him for a moment.

"And how do you suggest I-"

He cut me off with a stern look.

"Hellsing has close to unlimited resources when it comes to artillery. Tell you what, if you can make anti-freak bombs, you may be able to redeem yourself in Sir Integra's eyes."

The plans were already forming in my head. Shrapnel bombs would be the most affective against groups of ghouls. Only instead of using random junk, I could use sharpened pieces of blessed silver.

I grinned up at Walter.

"Sign me up."


	5. Chapter 5

**I do not own Hellsing.**

"Ahhh, Tilly you have to come out of there sometime!"

"On the contrary Pip I don't."

I heard Pip slam his fist into the door, of my new workroom. It was a bit cramped, but that was something someone could get used too. I was surrounded by wires, gun powder, detonators, shards of blessed silver. Everything I ever could have needed.

A loud crash behind me made me jump almost cutting through the wrong wire. I turned to see my brother standing there looking triumphant.

He took a look around my workroom and put his hand, rather melodramatically over his face.

"This is not right petite tireur. You should be out in town with Seras! Laughing and flirting, actually acting your age! Not holed up in here creating weapons of mass destruction."

I sighed.

"Next time you barge in, do it quietly. Do you want me to blow up this whole fucking mansion?"

I went back to my work and Pip sighed.

"This is not right."

He came over and put his hands on my shoulders.

"Maybe it would have been better if I had let you stay in France."

"What makes you say that? You wouldn't have lasted two days without me and you know it!"

He started running his hands over my scalp.

"You could have had a normal life, instead you are here building bombs to kill monsters."

He sounded kind of . . . Sad. My brother who never regretted a decision in his life.

"Don't be stupid Pip, it would've happened sooner or later. There isn't one person in our family that has had 'a normal life'. For the Bernadotte's . . . This is normal."

"But if you get killed out there-"

"Then I'll get killed!"

He stopped.

I had stood up so I could meet his gaze. He had a look of shock on his face.

"Believe me Pip I would rather be out there doing something to end this madness than just sit here and twiddle my thumbs."

He came over and pulled me into a hug. He smelled like cigarettes and gun powder. But it was the smell of home.

"We're going to finish this together, Tilly. I promise."

I only nestled deeper into his hug.

I was walking down to Walter's office when I heard raised voices coming from Integra's study.

Not one to pass it up I put my ear very close to the door.

"The last I knew I was paying you, _all_ of you to fight."

"She is just a child! How can I stand there and let my little sister go up against blood thirsty monsters!"

"She has chosen it."

"Like hell!"

I didn't want to hear anymore. I would prove them both wrong! I would go out on that battle field and blow up as many of those ghouls as I pleased!

I ran the rest of the way down to Walter's office to show him my work.

"These are extremely well thought out. I can't say I'm surprised though."

Walter continued to evaluate every single bomb I had finished. But his praise did little for my mood. How could Pip say I was just a child? I had killed just as many men, seen just as many wars, and suffered just as many hardships. So why was he suddenly treating me like some glass doll?

The it hit me.

"Walter . . .What exactly are we going to be fighting out there?"

He looked up.

"Ghouls."

"You're lying. I know we're fighting ghouls, but if that's all it is then why is Pip raising such a fuss about me fighting?"

He put down the bomb carefully.

"Have you ever heard of an organization called Millennium?"

"No."

He sighed.

"I guess I really don't have a choice."

"Millennium is an organization of war hungry, freak Nazi's. They have been creating artificial vampires with special chips for some years now. They intend to throw the world into an endless bloody war."

I sat there. Nazi's? Freak Nazi's?

"Why?"

Walter shrugged.

"For their own amusement I suspect. There are just some people out in the world who like war."

I fiddled with the end of my shirt.

"Why hasn't anyone told me? I need to be prepared for them!"

"We . . . Meaning Pip and Seras didn't want to frighten you."

I laughed.

"More like they just want me to stay ignorant. I'll be ready for them Walter. There's no way in Hell or Heaven I won't be."

He didn't smirk at my confidence as he usually does, but gave me a stern look.

"Let us hope we all are Miss Tilly."

I was walking back to my work room when I heard Seras yelling.

"What are you doing? That's disgusting!"

I heard the laughter of the Wild Geese and I turned to see what this all was about.

There were the canvas packs and bags of supplies on the floor around the men. They were all suited up as if they were leaving.

"What's going on."

The laughter immediately stopped. Pip and Seras turned with extreme looks of guilt on their faces.

"Why are you all packed? Is this some kind of drill? What the hell is going on?"

But I wasn't an idiot. They were all leaving on a mission.

And I was being left behind.

Seras was the first to speak.

"I'm so sorry Tilly! It was so last minute and you were busy-"

"Save it."

I looked at Pip.

"I can't believe you've been lying to me! You promised! You promised that everything you knew, I knew! Why is everyone suddenly being so fucking quiet about everything?"

I felt a thick coat of betrayal and anger blocking my throat, it hurt to swallow the tears, but I did it anyway.

"I'm not a child Pip. I haven't been a child for a long time! Why can't you just be straight with me?"

Pip was opening and closing his mouth, trying to find the right words.

"You know what forget it. If you and your little tart want to go off on a little vacation together and shoot some fucking freak Nazi's, be my guest!"

I could see the hurt and shock on their faces, but I honestly didn't give a flying shit.

"I'll be in my workroom."

I ran down to my little oasis. I sat down in my chair and began working furiously, but soon my fingers went limp.

My whole life I had been surrounded by my brothers, my friends, my men. There wasn't a moment of damn peace and I liked it that way.

The silence was foreign to me. It was ugly and it screamed out the truths that had been gnawing at my insides since we arrived here.

I put my hands over my ears and started singing "Frere Jacques".

I had never felt more alone in my life.


	6. Chapter 6

I spent the next few weeks like a rogue pistol, one wrong touch, and I would go off. The tension was eating away at my insides. If I blew up at some poor sucker who looked at me wrong I knew Sir Integra would have my guts for garters. Or if she was in a good mood, she would just give me a taste of my own medicine, with some minor beating to follow.

I needed an outlet and I needed it now.

And what better way to do that than to blow shit up?

I could feel the anticipation curling through my veins like a delicious poison. I walked outside the mansion with eleven of my new bombs tucked away in various pockets. I took out my hunting knife, and before I could think too hard about it, I slid the blade across my hand.

"Come out come out and play you dirty, bloodsucking son of a bitch."

I watched my blood drip through my fingers onto the damp ground beneath me. After a few minutes I snorted in disgust.

"Guess you are too scared too after I blew your empty head off you. Pity, I thought you would be more fun-"

I was cut off by a strong hand on my shoulder.

"You want to play like that do you?"

I shoved his hand off my shoulder and looked into his face, but he was too distracted by my bloodied hand.

"Let's see if your bite is just as bad as your bark, I'm sure most people here will thank me for shutting you up."

"You sicken me."

Quick as a whip I took out one the bombs in my pocket and pulled the pin out with my teeth and stuck it in his pocket. I dove for cover as the lethal weapon exploded, sending shards of blessed Macedonian silver flying in every direction. My arm throbbed as I watched Alucard go in every direction as well.

I sat there for a moment, stunned. I waited, for anything to happen. Lightning to come and strike me down, or the fiends of hell to crawl out of the ground. But nothing happened.

I began to laugh, I was more than laughing. It was a maniacal sound that came, not out of humor, but sweet relief.

"Didn't see that one coming did you, you dumb bastard! I thought you would have a little more fight in you than that, but I guess I just proved myself wrong!"

The laughter came out louder, and tears began to roll down my face.

"To think you got bested by a damn GIRL! Oh this is too SWEET!"

But as I was reveling in my victory against the bloodsucker, the air seemed to change. It became closer and colder, the shadow more defined in the late afternoon gray.

Black tendrils began to swirl around the mangled body, but it was no man that rose from the ground.

It was a massive black hound, with six blazing red eyes.

A voice pierced my mind as an arrow would physical flesh.

"_You are as stupid as they come. You want a good laugh? I will show you how I prefer to entertain myself!"_

The hound raised its hackles and its mouth turned up in a gruesome imitation of a smile. Once raised up to its full height, the dog was bigger than a stallion. I have been afraid before, but that was nothing new to any human . . . But this . . .

I was beyond fear. The only sensation I felt was that of my impending, and extremely bloody, demise.

My vision narrowed and all color drained from my surroundings. All I could see was the hound as it drew closer and closer.

Then all at once my focus sharpened and everything became painful to look at, and every movement was too fast for me to see.

That's when the hound pounced.

I put my arms up feebly, more on instinct than a hope that they would protect me. Its massive jaws clenched down on my arm, but I only felt a massive pressure, that's when I remembered.

I still had the silver cuff. I could still win this.

As that thought entered my brain, I smelt burning flesh, and smoke was trailing out of the creature's mouth.

The silver was burning it.

I began to struggle with the hound, attempting to gain the upper hand like hell I would go down without fighting. Though a part of me knew there was no hope, at least I could say I tried.

The smell of sulfur and blood began to take over my mind, and I felt every muscle in my body giving way, but a voice broke through the haze.

"YOU DAMN FOOLS! STOP THIS AT ONCE!"

But of course, the creature and I paid no heed.

"THAT. IS. AN. ORDER!"

At those words, the hound leapt off of me and ran into the night before I could even process what had just happened.

I just lay there, looking at the gray sky; the air was frigid on my skin now that the giant beast was no longer surrounding me.

I felt strong hands lift my head, and the feel of cotton under my head. A pair of ice blue eyes pierced through me.

"You damned irresponsible girl! I cannot even comprehend how utterly dim witted you are! Do you even have the slightest inkling what you have just done?"

The voice of Sir Integra ripped away the haze of adrenaline, and I felt like I had been hit by a train, I was in too much pain I couldn't even shake my head at her question, for fear it would fall off.

She forced me to sit up, even though every muscle and bone screamed in protest, I didn't resist.

She knelt back down in front of me.

"You must learn to value human life! That is what separates us from creatures such as Alucard."

She put one hand under my chin and forced my gaze up to hers.

"That means you must value your own life as well. If you go around throwing it away, as you did just now, then you are more of an idiot than I thought."

Something had changed in her eyes . . . They had taken on an almost . . . Gentleness. But I quickly shook the thought away.

"Every life is worth something Tilly Bernadotte . . . Yours is no exception."

My life . . . Was . . . Worth something?

And it hit me.

How would Pip feel if I died? What about the other men? If what Sir Integra said was true than maybe . . .

They would miss me.

I felt my eyes well up, and a hot tear slid down my face.

"Your brother is looking for you. He's in the east hall."

And I was off.

After running for what seemed like forever, I reached the east hallway, and there he was. And it didn't matter that I was sore all over, or that all of our men were watching.

I ran to Pip and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could, and all the tension that had built up was released in a giant sob.

I felt his arms around me and he kissed my head.

"Ahh my little Tilly, you are a mess-"

"Shut up you big idiot! I thought I was never going to see you again!"

I felt him chuckle, but I felt a tear land on my head.

"I missed you too."

And that is when I realized, my life was worth something, even if it was just to Pip. And I should fight for it.

For him, for my family.

That thought alone was enough.


	7. Chapter 7

I barely left Pips side after he had returned from his mission, which was, I later found out, in Rio. I moved most of my materials from my little workshop to our barracks, much to the displeasure of the men. But I knew they were all doing it for show, they were used to my . . . activities. Not to mention they knew I didn't really give a damn. But lately it was just Matt, one of the younger recruits who was giving me an unbearable amount of bullshit.

"You really have to grow a pair; the smell is just a sacrifice of war!"

"But we're not in a war you daft girl! Besides what if you blow this place to pieces?"

Raising one eyebrow, I gave Matt a pointed look.

"I refuse to even counter that ridiculous notion."

With that I went back to my tinkering.

I could feel Matt's gaze upon me, but I refused to look up at him. He knew how this game worked, if he didn't apologize to me before lights out, he would find a mattress full of some sort of stinging insect.

"Now what is going on here? Tilly, are you giving trouble to my men again?"

I looked back up to see Pip coming from the main house.

"More like he's giving me trouble."

"That is such dog shit! Sir, she's playing around with explosives right in front of our lodgings! Aren't you the least bit concerned?"

Pip looked at Matt, then to me then back to him.

"I am more worried about that you're plainly flirting with my baby sister when she is four years younger than you."

"EWWWWWW! Pip do you always have to say that kind of crap!"

He just laughed and went back inside he barracks. Matt followed him very shortly, not exactly surprising. So, I just went back to tinkering, I was trying to improve my shrapnel bomb, make the shrapnel go in a more circular volley, instead just all over the place, willy nilly.

After what I guessed was a few hours, I saw Seras Victoria heading towards the barracks.

"Afternoon Tilly!"

I grunted in response. After they had gotten back from Rio, Pip had forced me to apologize to Seras, though I'm proud to say he had to practically hold a gun to my head to get me to do it.

"If you're looking for Pip, I think he went to the bath house."

Of course I was lying through my teeth; Pip had been in the barracks the whole time taking a nap. I just didn't want her to know that.

"Well that's alright, because I came here looking for you."

This made me pause. Considering my recent . . . spat with Alucard, who was Seras' master, I came to the conclusion I was about to get my ass handed to me by this woman, or she was going to take me to Alucard, which would also end in me getting the guts beaten out of me. Either way, I was in the worst situation possible.

"What for?"

She giggled.

"Don't sound so suspicious, Walter sent me to find you. He says he's got something for you."

I slowly put down my things and wiped my hands on my oil rag. If she was lying, I couldn't tell.

"Alright then."

We began to walk towards the main house, the silence was extremely uncomfortable, but it gave me a chance to really get a look at her. She was very pretty, but in a cute way, like a kitten. Not to mention the uniform she was wearing, a bright yellow monstrosity with a skirt that I'm sure was illegal in three different countries, really accentuated . . . Certain assets.

Standing next to her anyone would feel a bit raggedy, but with my clothes, which had no discernible color, oil stains and burn marks, I felt especially ratty.

When we reached the main house Seras led me to an old armory. Everywhere were swords and daggers. Muskets adorned the walls next to old paintings of what I assumed were other members of the Hellsing family. Walter was standing behind a huge oak table with three cases.

"Ahh, good you made it. Now if he would just show up . . ."

But as he said that Alucard, like the damned snake he is, came out of the wall behind Walter.

He gave me a very toothy grin as he settled into as he came up beside Walter.

"Oooh do we get new toys today?"

Walter smirked.

"Hardly, we just finished the repairs on the Jackal. You should really be more considerate weapons Alucard."

He opened up the first case and pulled out a massive black gun it would take a normal man both hands to hold, although it was built like a hand gun. Alucard simply picked it up and aimed it, as if it was a water pistol.

"And the trigger has been fixed on the Harkonen, Ms. Victoria and I'm sure I don't have to repeat what we discussed about knowing your own strength?"

She looked down sheepishly.

"Yes, sir."

I looked at the cannon, then back at Seras, she was a tiny snip of a girl, and I'd wager half of her body weight was in her boobs. But she picked up the Harkonen, case and all, in one hand.

"You look a little shocked, girl. Now you see what real vampires can handle."

I cringed as Alucard's oily voice reached my ears.

"Shut up you over grown leech."

He only smirked.

"Aren't we touchy? By the way Walter, what is this pup doing here?"

"Sir Integra specially ordered this for Ms. Bernadotte."

Walter opened the last case, and pulled out a very deformed looking crossbow.

"What in the hell is that?"

"It was once called The Hornet. It was a very powerful crossbow that could hit a target about 300 yards away."

I raised my eyebrows.

"But Sir Integra ordered some . . . Modifications. Now it's more like a super slingshot."

I picked up the 'super slingshot' and tested it. The balance was good, and the polished wood felt nice in my hands.

"And what exactly is it for?"

He looked at me, shocked.

"Why, to propel your bombs great distances, we can't just have you chucking them at random."

I waited for a moment then looked at Walter.

"Can I go test it?"

I could barely keep the excitement out of my voice, those blood sucking freaks wouldn't know what hit them.

"We have prepared for that as well."

I grinned.

Turns out "prepared" meant that I was to use red paint balls the size of my bombs when training. I would still be using the motion activated dummies . . . Only I would be going up against more than one at a time.

I had an artillery belt slung across my chest filled to the brim with the paint balls; I could load five at a time on the Hornet. I also had a foil in a sheath at my side. I nodded at Walter, and he pressed the button that brought out fifteen of the dummies at once. This training method was only used on the more experienced soldiers, but I had insisted. Sir Integra, Alucard, Seras, and Pip were also there.

I shot the first bomb right in the middle of a formation of five of the dummies, the paint splattered, hitting every dummy. I was quite pleased with myself as I finished off the rest of the dummies quite easily, using only three of the paint balls. That's when Sir Integra's voice came over the intercom.

"We're going to try something a little more interactive, prepare yourself."

There was another loud buzzing sound, and two doors slid open, and in came at least twenty men, not dummies, men; all of them wearing a gasmask, making them look inhuman.

"They have been strictly ordered to fall down dead if hit with paint or your foil."

There was another loud buzzing and with that I was rushed.

I managed to doge the first two who tried to grab me, the third I hit with the butt of the Hornet. Four more rushed in a square formation, so I somersaulted twice right through the center and shot a paintball right in the middle from behind, and the four went down.

Only sixteen more to go.

This went on for another twenty minute before I only had three more paintballs left, and ten soldiers. I was breathing hard and I could feel the sweat trickling down my entire body. I knew I couldn't use just the "bombs" anymore, so I took out the foil and ran head on at the rest of them.

I went low and slashed the foil across the knees of two soldiers and as they went down I tapped their necks, just as if I was cutting of their heads. The last eight split into three groups, two groups of three soldiers and one group of two, and they all came at me at once. The group of two came first, and I used the foil as I had on the last two, but the first group of three was coming too fast, so I took a blind shot with the Hornet, hoping it would land somewhere useful. Luckily, the force behind the shot was enough to splatter the paint, and they went down. I finished off the group of two and stared down the last group of three soldiers. They spilt up and surrounded me from all sides, rushing me at the same time, once again I rolled on the ground, but they were expecting it. One of them put his foot on my chest and the three of them gathered around me as if they were going to feed on me, so I did what my instinct told me to.

I gripped the foil and slashed it in a wide arc, the very tip sliding across their chests.

They all collapsed.

I lay there for a moment catching my breath, but I shoved off the one who had had his foot on me and got up rubbing my back.

I looked into the window where everyone was watching. Pip and Seras were grinning like idiots, while Walter looked smug. Alucard had thankfully left, but it wasn't really them I was looking at.

Though Sir Integra still had the same hard look on her face, she nodded once and I could see the tiniest glimmer of approval.


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own Hellsing. (Except Tilly)**

Slime coated the cold stones.

My breath came in short pants as the grimy water seemed to cling to me and drag me down, the rounded walls becoming smaller and smaller.

Freedom was as far away as the moon, which soon disappeared as I submerged.

The muffled peace of underwater surrounded me.

I jerked awake. My sheets were tangled around my legs. Sweat was pouring down my body. I couldn't get enough oxygen; suddenly the barracks were far too small.

I got up and pulled my boots on, without grabbing my coat I walked out into the night.

The chill air was a relief on my hot skin, the open space chasing away the nightmare and the uneasiness.

"If you are not careful, you'll get eaten."

I jumped and pulled out the knife at my side.

Sir Integra gave me an amused look as she puffed on her fine cigar.

"It's nice to know that exhaustion doesn't dull your reflexes, but you should have heard me coming."

"Is everything a goddamn test to you?" I sheathed my knife and stood beside her.

She didn't answer.

"What are you doing out here Tilly?"

"Why are you?"

She raised an eyebrow, but continued to look at the sky.

"The barracks got a bit cramped is all."

We stood there in silence.

"There is a battle coming soon Tilly, I suggest you savor your uneasiness, before it turns into full blown terror."

I looked where Sir Integra had her eyes fixed, and I saw fire rising from the distance. And soon screams of ghouls and humans alike tore through my mind.

I put my hands over my ears.

"Make it stop!"

She only stood there, completely still. The ash of her cigar falling to the ground the only motion.

"MAKE IT STOP!"

"TILLY!"

My eyes flew open and they met the cold blues of Sir Integra.

Matthew was right behind her.

"I don't know what came over her ma'am! She just began screaming!"

I felt a cool hand on my forehead.

"Tilly? Are you completely mad?"

It seemed a simple enough question.

"What the fuck do you think? I've stayed here all this time haven't I?"

She smirked.

"You watch your language, now get up or you'll be training without breakfast."

She left the barracks, leaving behind the scent of expensive tobacco.

I threw my legs over the side of my cot, my head in my hands.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

I looked up at Matthew, he looked like he was going to piss himself, or shoot me, precisely in that order.

I shrugged.

"Don't get too close, you might catch the crazy."

I got up and put on my coat, not bothering with anything else I left Matthew behind.

I didn't know if Sir Integra would find any meaning in my dream, but the screams haunted me. I had to put them to rest. Somehow.

I reminisced about the first time I had stood in front of the giant oak door of Sir Integra's study. I laughed as I remembered how I had thought Sir Integra was a man, though she did have a tendency towards the masculine, there was a maliciousness and presence that was very distinctly female.

I was just about to knock, when I heard Pip's voice. What was he doing here? Shouldn't he be stuffing his face with the rest of the men?

"Sir Integra you are being unreasonable! If there is an attack coming from Millennium I want Tilly out of here as soon as possible! She's had her fun training, but you can't actually intend to let her fight!"

I heard an annoyed intake of breath.

"As I said before, she made her choice; she could have turned her back on us at any time and jumped ship, but . . ."

She paused, and I heard slight whisperings.

"Well I can see I won't convince you, why don't you let Tilly do it herself?"

The door opened silently, and Integra and Pip stared at me.

She motioned me inside.

"Well Tilly? Prove to your brother that you can do this. Alucard!"

"Yes Master?"

"Please help with the demonstration."

Oh shit.

I grabbed the lamp on the table by the door, broke it at the neck and held it up to Alucard.

"Come anywhere near me you toothy bastard and I will shove this places you never knew you had!"

Laughter rumbled throughout the room.

"That should be enough to convince you Mr. Bernadotte. Your sister has a hate for inhuman creatures that nearly rivals my own."

I lowered my makeshift weapon, but I didn't take my eyes off of Alucard. Why the hell was I being put through this now?

"But-"

"I took over this organization when I was only thirteen, the same age as Tilly. If I hear any more opposition from you, I would be happy to give you a room down in Alucard's cellar."

Pip's face turned red, and I could hear his teeth grind from where I stood.

"Then you will have a child's blood on your hands!"

Pip grabbed my arm, forcing me to drop the broken lamp. He dragged me out of the study before I had processed enough of what had just happened to wrench myself out of his grip.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"First thing in the morning I am putting you on the first boat out of the country."

"The hell you are! I won't just leave all of you!"

Pip turned to me with a desperate look; he got down on his knees and grabbed my shoulders.

"Do you not understand you could die? You are thirteen years old! I won't have your blood spilt because of me!"

I put my hands on his shoulders and shoved him away.

"You don't get it! This is so much bigger than my life or your life! This is about humanity itself! And I will not run away on some damned ship because I might get a few scratches!"

I kept my grip on his shoulders, my fingers tightening.

"I am not afraid Pip! I've told you this a thousand times before and I will say it again! Death does not scare me!"

I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"Want to know what I am scared of?"

I felt him nod.

"Being completely and utterly alone, if I lost you or you sent me away I would cry like a baby."

I pulled away and, looked into the face of my older brother. He had always been so big and strong. He annoyed me to no end with his bad jokes and constant smoking.

But now he had a sad look in his eyes. He may as well have already been at my funeral.

"I will never forgive you if you die petite tireuer."

I smirked at him.

"You know me better than that."

He smiled.

"Let's make a deal Tilly, if either of us dies in this, we have to promise whoever is alive has to stay that way until it is over."

He took off his glove and spit in his hand.

"But until then,"

He held out his saliva covered hand.

"Promise me that you will survive."

I looked into his face, took off my own glove and hacked the biggest loogie I could in my hand.

"If you promise to survive."

He laughed, and grabbed my hand tightly.

"Consider it a deal."

And we shook.

I was walking back to the barracks after dinner when a horrible sound pierced my ears.

The distant shrill ground itself into my mind, and caused me to shiver in my bones.

The red alarm screamed it's warning to every edge of the Hellsing estate.

It had begun.

**To be continued . . . **


	9. Chapter 9

I do not own Hellsing. (Except Tilly)

I could feel adrenaline pumping through me as I sprinted back to the barracks. I saw Seras standing at the door, already holding her enormous cannons, the Hornet gripped in her hand. She threw it at me.

"Hop on Tilly, we haven't got any time left."

According to Sir Integra's plan, Seras and I would be waiting on the terrace of the third floor, while Pip and the other men guarded the inside.

I nodded silently and climbed onto Seras's back. I put a death grip around her neck, and we were off.

Never had I felt such speed, in the time it took me to run back to the barracks, Seras could have run to London and back.

We reached the main house, but instead of taking the stairs, Seras simply took a few leaping jumps on unseen footholds till we reached our post.

She set me down and turned on her ear piece, handing me one at the same time.

"Captain Bernadotte, Tilly and I are in position."

My ear crackled as Pip responded.

"Very good Mignonette, as soon as you see anything coming over those hills, you shoot the damn bastards down. Tilly, you wait until they release the ghouls, when they do, try to figure out their formations and shoot the bombs as close as you can to the middle. Got it?"

"Roger."

"Got it Captain."

Seras and I stood by each other in a tense silence, I could feel myself shaking. This was it, the final deal. We either lived through this night.

Or we didn't.

I soon heard a rumbling, it wasn't the obvious kind, but the ominous kind you hear right before you piss yourself and run in fear.

I raised my hand slightly, signaling the men that were positioned on the roof.

Over the hills came a black blob moving swiftly, two giant air blimps above them.

Though the army was massive, there was no mistaking the feral red eyes that glowed in the semi-darkness.

I threw my hand forward.

"_**FIRE!**_"

I heard the very satisfying sound of cannons being fired, but no ordinary cannonballs were released.

Instead Walter and I had devised a cannonball that explodes on impact, just like a shrapnel bomb. Only the cannon balls were about 25 times larger than the normal hand grenades. Hoping to freak Sir Integra out a little bit with the bill, I had insisted they be mass produced.

We could see the explosions and chunks of soldiers fell as the blessed silver embedded itself into their bodies.

"Now Seras!"

The rapid-fire booming of her cannons rang out through the night.

Not wanting her to have all the fun, I put the scope on top of the Hornet and peered down into the horde of monsters.

"Seras, they're in formations of six, two on top, one on each side, and two on bottom!"

"Roger!"

I fired bomb after bomb into the center of their formations, taking out all six, or if I was lucky, seven of the vampires.

I heard Seras's cannon fire cease; I looked over at her to see a look of terror and disgust on her face.

I peered through my scope once again, and beheld what had frozen her in fear.

A muscular being with a giant scythe was walking confidently towards the manor. No armor, but it was covered in strange tattoos.

"What in the hell is that thing!"

"Just keep it away from the manor!"

Seras began frantically shooting at the being, but the bullets seemed to go right through it.

"If we don't stop it, it'll break through Section A!"

I slung the Hornet back and pulled out my AK-47. I pulled the trigger. I was damn sure my aim was as good as the next man's, but my bullets missed the creature as completely as Seras's had.

I pressed my ear.

"Section C Offense to Section A! Be ready with all you have! We weren't able to stop this creature!"

"Roger!"

After that I pulled out the earpiece and threw it on the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"My men are down there! I'll see if I can hold it off! You keep shooting from here!"

With that I vaulted over the edge of the terrace, grabbing on a protrusion just in time to hook a grappling line and with one last silent prayer, I free fell rest of the way down.

I landed right in front of the creature.

It was even more massive than I anticipated, muscles rippling beneath skin tight clothing. One of its eyes was glowing green, its scythe glinting in the firelight from the torches.

"What an annoying little insect, I'll deal with you to warm up."

But instead of raising the scythe it slammed its hand on the ground.

I shot at the creature, but it was futile. Even a close range, she it managed to dodge bullets.

Darkness surrounded me, but I continued to hold on to AK as if it were my only salvation, but no longer was the creature in front of me.

Instead, I was staring at a vast countryside, the smell of tobacco stinging my nose.

"Grandpere?"

"Ahhh Matilda. . . would you look at that sunset. . Beautiful isn't it?"

I shook my head.

"You . . .You died . . .10 years ago."

My grip had gone slack on my gun; I stood there and watched as Grandpere peacefully smoked his pipe.

"You look so tired my dear. Why don't you go rest?"

As he said that a great fire began to engulf everything, the smell of burning flesh making my eyes water, Grandpere's face became nothing but bone as the fire melted it away, all the while his hand reaching for me.

"GRANDPERE!"

Instinctively my finger closed around the trigger and the sound of bullets forced me to open my eyes.

Instead of flames and smoke, I saw swirling runes of black and purple surrounding me, Grandpere had turned into a ghostly white figure with no face.

Tears burned my face as they fell, I could still see the outline of his huge mustache, and his pipe that rarely left his lips.

"Get. Out. YOU FUCKER!"

I let the bullets fly, not caring where they went just as long as they hit something.

I saw an opening, and I ran, coming right up to the creature, it had a cruel and twisted expression; the tattoos on its muscled body were swirling in the same way the runes did inside the vision . . .

That thing could use some kind of magic . . . It could get in your head.

"_It's hands. Go for its hands!"_

I took out my knife and swiped at the hand that was planted on the ground, the beast was forced to remove it from the ground and the runes disappeared.

"You little bastard!"

Its voice was gravelly, and it had lost that teasing edge.

"I guess you do have a death wish!"

At the same time it swung its scythe, I brought the Hornet out and blasted a bomb right in its ugly face.

The explosion was deafening, I felt a sharp pain in my arm and felt blood. I lay on my back for a few moments, the blowback from the blast had left my vision a little fuzzy, not to mention winded.

I felt a cold, sharp point at my throat, and my vision cleared enough to see it holding the scythe above its head, but just as it was about to lop off my head, a great yellow blur came rocketing from above, kicking the creature in the head.

Seras yelled at me as the being roared in pain.

"GO! Get back to Section B with Pip! Don't look back whatever you do!"

I nodded and ran through the door.

"Don't shoot! It's me!"

The men lowered their guns.

"Tilly what the hell is that thing!"

"Fuck if I know Jon. . . I have to get up to Section B, cover me!"

I dropped to my knees as the glass from the windows by the door exploded; I heard Seras scream, as well as the rest of the men as they saw the creature.

I didn't look back, I would have . . .

But the screaming had completely stopped.

**To be continued . . .**


	10. Chapter 10

I do not own Hellsing (Except Tilly)

"_Keep moving, keep moving. Survive. Survive."_

I had made a promise, I had shaken on it. I couldn't break it now.

Though I had no doubts that the men of Section A had succumbed to a rather bloody demise, I had to keep pushing forward.

When I reached the second floor, I saw the Lieutenant and a few other choice men hiding behind pillars.

I ran to the Lieutenant, my hand tensely gripped around the AK.

"Where is everyone Lieutenant?"

"Captain took them up to the conference room on the third floor, they plan to barricade it. It's their only chance. I suggest you get up there too Tilly."

"Then what the hell are you doing here?"

He gave me a sad smile that caused my blood to freeze.

"We're giving them time."

I bit my lip. The Lieutenant was a good man, his own daughter, Michelle, had died many years ago. When Pip was being jackass it was always him I would run to.

I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Your name will be carved among the greats."

I saw a tear roll down his cheek.

"As will yours . . ."

We heard thumping on the stairs.

He looked at me frantically.

"GO! I'll tell Pip you're on your way."

He pushed me up and away from him.

As I ran to the next staircase, tears poured down my face as I heard the desperate screams and battle cries from behind me.

I rapped three times on the massive door of the conference room. Pip and I had developed this knock years ago, when we had been taken as war prisoners in Uganda.

The door cracked and Pip's green eye appeared, squinted at me then opened it up just far enough for me to slip in.

"What are you doing? You've just damned her as well as us Captain! Damn, shit . . . FUCK!"

Most of the men were in a right mad state, but Pierre was the first vocalize what everyone was feeling.

I went over and slapped him hard across the face.

"I should just kill you now, and save those monsters the trouble!"

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"We can't turn on each other now; we're all we have left."

Pip's voice had taken on a grave tone, yet his eyes still sparkled the way they always did.

Suddenly there was a massive explosion throwing me forward and onto my stomach.

I coughed and I heard the screams of pain that came from Max. He had been right by the door when the bomb had gone off; blood was streaming down his face like tears.

Pip ran over to him.

"Shit! He's hit! Medic! Get over here now!"

While they tended to him, I took over.

"Get those chairs, grab anything you can carry! Pile it on! Use anything you can find to block the door move, move, move!"

As they piled a different assortment of chairs and anything they could find, Pierre grew more anxious,

I thought maybe I should let him calm down a bit, so I just let him stand there.

That's where everything went wrong.

"Fuck . . . Fuck . . .FUCK!"

Before anyone could do anything, Pierre ran up to the unfinished barricade and began shooting like a mad man, cursing the whole time.

"You damn idiot! Stand down!"

Pip pushed Pierre out of the way, but it was too late. They had risen to our challenge, and we were far outnumbered.

He picked up his own AK-47 and without looking shot blindly out.

As the gun shots rang out, from our side, and from theirs, the sound all began to blur together in a deathly banter.

"Matthew we have to redistribute the remaining ammo!"

"There isn't anymore! We've already used the few silver bullets we had."

"Shit . . ."

"Captain this is absurd!"

"They'll eat us alive!"

"Fuck . . ."

Pip reloaded his AK, and nodded at me.

"SHUT UP!"

It was a rare occasion when Pip yelled, but when he did, you thought the fury of the Almighty was upon you.

"I don't plan on dying in this hell hole either."

I smiled a fierce smile at him.

We would survive, we always have.

Why should this time be any different?

I was going towards him with my own gun when I heard him say,

"She'll be here, I know it. That's just the kind of girl she is."

God, I could only hope.

As I was about to kneel down beside him, a massive explosion, ten times bigger than the last bombarded us with no warning, the groaning and screams of pain lost in the dense smoke.

I couldn't see anything and I could feel splinters of wood scraping my back, but when I tried to move, my shoulder screamed in agony.

I didn't want to look, but the way I was lying down I had no choice.

A massive piece of wood jutted from my shoulder. It had gone clean through, and I could feel it had missed most major tendons.

But fucking hell did it hurt all the same.

Pip stood up from a pile of rubble. His hat was gone and his hair no longer in a neat braid.

"Fuck! They still had a rocket! . . Lieutenant! Status report!"

Assuming he meant me, I reluctantly sat up.

"Minor damage to my shoulder, nothing too bad . . .

That was when I saw it . . . Every single one of our men was either dead or close to it. Pip clenched his teeth in pain; his hand went to his abdomen where I saw a nasty splinter protruding from him. Blood was already soaking through his shirt and dripping down to the floor. He went and knelt by Matthew, who had lost his arm, the bone was stark white against the dark red of the floor.

"Go ahead." I heard him say. And Matthew breathed his last.

I took a deep breath. The wound wasn't deep; it was just a pain in the ass for someone like Pip, barely a scratch. That was all. That was it. Nothing more.

He turned to me.

"Get out."

"But-"

"GO!" He roared.

But I couldn't. My feet were rooted to the ground; I was in too deep now.

I couldn't run.

I heard a voice say.

"Captain, we only have one left-"

"Doesn't matter, the manor is already ours."

I heard the unmistakable loading of a giant cannon.

I was frozen; Pip had turned toward the sound and clenched his teeth once more.

"_Looks like neither of us could keep our promise . . ."_

The cannon roared repeatedly.

But no pain came.

It was not the cannon of the enemy . . .

But of our savior.

I grinned, as did Pip. Never had I been so happy to hear the angry screams of Seras Victoria.

A few of our men had gotten up; they had been awakened by the cannon fire.

"Captain . . .?"

"Aye, she came alright. As promised. She actually made it back . . ."

He took out his cigarettes and popped a fresh one in his mouth.

"And single handedly obliterated the monsters too!"

He laughed.

"Shit . . . Shit! She is amazing. Now I wish I had kissed her more forcibly."

That was just like him, to think of something like that at a time like this. But then . . .

He collapsed.

I was the first one there, to catch him.

"Pip? PIP! Goddammit stay on your feet!"

I tried my best to ease him down gently but he weighed twice what I did, and we fell to the floor with a _thunk_.

I put my ear to his chest. He was still breathing, and his heartbeat was strong.

I closed my eyes. I had to be strong. I had to survive. Now was not the time to be a little girl.

I looked at the wound. He would bleed out if pulled the splinter out, but it could get infected. Considering our current situation, I was willing to take the chance.

"Someone get me some whiskey!"

They looked at me blankly.

"Don't be dumb! I know you all have some with you!"

I took the flask from the first hand heat offered, popped open the top and dumped it on the wound.

Pip sucked in his breath.

"Feels like scotch, 1975 I'd say. Terrible year."

I rolled my eyes and ripped the hem of my shirt and tucked it around the edge of the wood splinter.

"That's all I can do for now . . . Why is it so quiet?"

The silence was eerie, before, the sound of gunfire and splattering of blood was apparent . . . But now there was nothing.

I quietly picked myself up into a crouch, and slid over to what was left of the barricade. I looked out to see that the hallway was completely covered in blood, and right in the middle, the beast stood with its hand on the ground, and Seras Victoria standing frozen, tears rolling down her face.

"_It's gotten to her! If she doesn't wake up soon . . ."_

Barely after the thought crossed my mind, the creature was behind Seras, grinning like a mad man.

It put its scythe under her armpit and pulled.

The scream tore through me as Seras lost her arm, I prepared myself to go to her aid, I owed her. I armed myself with more bombs and bullets, but as I prepared to jump the barricade, rough hands grabbed me, my hands became securely fastened behind my back.

"Sorry Tilly, Captain's orders."

"YOU FUCKERS LET ME GO! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS-!"

Cloth was stuffed in my mouth before I could say anymore. The men, damn betraying rats, opened a little cabinet in the back of the room and threw me in.

The darkness swallowed me, but I kicked and I screamed through my gag.

It seemed an eternity had passed, many more screams from Seras had almost ripped me to pieces. I had to get out there, I had to. When she grew silent, my heart pounded. She couldn't be dead, if Seras was dead . . .

We were all royally fucked.

A slow clunking and groaning pieced the slilence.

I opened my mouth as wide as I could and spit the gag from my mouth and I kicked the little door, jarring my shoulder causing my eyes to water.

Then, light was blinding my eyes, I had managed to kick open the door.

Not caring about cutting my hands, I forced the bonds off; I climbed out, ready to fight with all I had.

But the sight before me stopped me dead cold.

Pip, covered in blood, carrying a half dead Seras Victoria.

He had a shocked look on his face, and I realized why when I looked down.

The silvery tip of a scythe was pushed right through him from behind.

All sound died as he fell to the ground.

The scream ripped from me, though I could barely hear it.

"**NO**!"

**To be continued . . .**


	11. Chapter 11

I do not own Hellsing (Except Tilly)

My body moved of its own accord. I lunged forward and caught Pip, setting him down against the wall. The sound of the scythe's blade slipping from his stomach made me want to vomit.

"Pip . . . PIP! GODDAMMIT GET UP! GET UP!"

"Captain? Captain!"

Seras was frantic, but everything was muffled, the only color was the blood that was soaking Pip's shirt and my hands.

He had to live; he couldn't die here, not now.

I felt myself going into shock, the tingling in the tips of my fingers and then there was nothing.

No words, no senses, just blood and the shallow rise and fall of Pip's chest.

I looked at Seras, her face was covered in blood, and one couldn't even tell what the wounds were. She dragged herself from where Pip had dropped her.

"Captain Bernadotte! Captain Bernadotte!"

I was numb, the agony that was ripping through me made it impossible to even breathe.

Pip just smiled and cupped Seras's face with his good hand.

He pulled her face towards his and kissed her full on the mouth.

After a few moments he pulled away, a string of blood connecting their mouths.

He laughed, but it soon turned into a cough, blood coming from his mouth. I felt it as it spattered my arm.

"I finally caught you off your guard . . . Finally."

Unable to speak, I only clutched his hand tighter, his weight against my arm.

The tension left his body, and his head landed lightly on my shoulder.

But I felt no breath on my neck as he lay there.

"No . . . No, no no no no no no no . . ."

It's all I could think to say, the denial was all that was keeping me from losing it. It kept my world from crumbling to pieces around me.

But this was far from over.

"Your turn, Seras Victoria."

The beast was still on the hunt for fresh blood.

"But I think I want to break you further . . ."

The creature came up and threw Seras aside; it gave me a wicked grin.

I didn't move, I didn't even breathe as its rank breath washed over me.

"Well girl? How does it feel to hold a dead man in your arms? I bet it's rather comfortable, soon you'll be joining him."

Nothing, if I moved it would have a direct hit at Pip, I couldn't let that happen.

I felt a searing pain as she grabbed the piece of wood that was still lodged in my shoulder and ripped it out.

I refused to scream. Though the pain was monumental, it was nothing.

It was nothing, compared to what I felt inside.

"My, aren't you fun to play around with?"

It drew back a fist, and slammed it into the freshly bleeding wound.

My chin jerked, I bit my tongue so hard it bled.

It would not hear me scream, I would not let it hear what it so craved.

It bellowed, and suddenly its hand was around my throat.

I tried to resist but its strength far outweighed mine. It threw me across the room and into a pile of rubble and dead bodies. I heard a thud as Pip's body fell without my support.

I attempted to get up, but a foot slammed me back down, a hand gripped my injured shoulder and forced me onto my back.

"Maybe now you will scream for mercy."

I could see the tip of the scythe out of the corner of my eye as it dragged the point down the length of my face, forehead to chin. The creature pulled through my flesh slowly, savoring every drop of blood that followed. It burned like hellfire . . . But it wasn't pain . . .

But knowing that this was the weapon that had . . .

It pierced its way through my conscious before I could beat it back . . .

This was the weapon that had killed Pip.

"_Killed Pip . . . Pip is dead. . ."_

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to repel the image.

"_My brother is dead."_

As the words entered my mind the agony I had repressed burst forth and tears ran down my face, stinging the new scar the beast had given me.

"You are no better than that insect I just disposed of."

I would have screamed, oh how I wanted too, but I didn't have too.

A dark aura closed in on me, suffocating me. The creature pulled its' scythe from my face and turned back to where Seras lay.

"An . . . Insect? How . . . Dare you."

The aura was becoming stronger, and I saw Seras leaning toward Pip.

"I will show you . . . An INSECT!"

With a scream I thought you could only hear at the gates of Hell, Seras bared her fangs and bit in to Pip's neck hungrily.

The air became thick with blood and power, the same stench that surrounded Alucard like a bad cologne. The light turned a bloody red color as the disgusting slurping noises became faster and stronger.

"_Not him! WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT? YOU MONSTER!"_

Shadows began to dance around Seras as she finished her meal, her uniform no longer a canary yellow, but a deep red. The shadows replaced her severed arm, twisting and writhing out of the socket.

With another screech she blasted toward the creature faster than my eyes could follow, but next thing I knew, I was in Seras's arms and she was laying me down next to Pip.

"Stay here, and don't move."

I only nodded. This was her fight now. Much as it killed me to say, there was nothing I could do now.

I closed my eyes and curled into my brother's still form as cries and shrieks enveloped the hall.

I felt warm blood spatter my face, but all of it meant little to me now. Because I knew that it was not Seras's blood.

When silence once again ruled the hall I opened my eyes.

The creature was lying face up a few feet from where I lay; half of its face was completely gone. Flames erupted just then, unnatural blue and white flames that consumed the corpse.

The sight warmed the cockles of my heart.

It had killed him.

And in return it had been brutally slaughtered.

I heard light footsteps come towards me, but I only rested my head down on Pip's chest.

"_You must promise me petite tireuer . . ."_

His voice rang through me, as clear as morning church bells.

"_Promise me that you will survive."_

I had shaken on it. I couldn't break it to him now.

I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"He expects you to keep your promise you know."

Seras helped me sit up, and she wrapped her wiry arm around me tight. Though she was covered in blood and sweat, she smelled faintly of gunpowder and cigarettes.

Of home.

I looked into her eyes, and though they were the same feral red I so despised, there was a familiar sparkle in them.

"Let's finish this together my little Tilly."

It was Seras speaking, but a deep timbre reverberated through my ears.

Tears poured fresh and salty as I buried my face in her neck, she gently pulled me close and began to stroke my hair. The exact same way Pip used to, lightly scratching my scalp, while running his fingers through the length of my hair.

I was not alone.

My eyes snapped open and I looked up at Seras. There was a grim look on her face that made my decision set itself in stone.

"Take me with you."

"Don't be-"

"We promised to finish this together; I will never break my promise to him!"

Seras opened her mouth as if she would say something more, but just shook her head in defeat.

She stood up and bent over.

"Get on then, Sir Integra will be waiting."

I maneuvered onto her back as best I could with my injured arm; the bleeding had stopped, but not the pain.

"Wait!"

At the sound of the voice she turned and two remaining soldiers of the Wild Geese saluted us, their hands over their hearts. Then one of them, Jonathon, came towards us and held out . . .

Pip's hat.

He had gotten it in Australia, and wore it everywhere. Though it had burns in a few places and bloodstains, the silver pin shone as brightly as the moon.

The Pegasus, the symbol of the Wild Geese and of the Bernadotte family, would never tarnish. Of that I was most certain.

I took the hat, and set it on my head. He nodded and saluted once again.

With that Seras and I were off, she jumped out of the massive hole in the wall and we were literally flying to the burning city just over the hills.

Yes, Pip and I would finish this together.

I smiled down at Seras, she caught my eye and grinned fiercely back.

Because, like the pin on his hat, Pip's spirit would not tarnish.

**To be continued . . .**


	12. Chapter 12

I do not own Hellsing (except Tilly)

(Btw I mean no offense to anyone who is Catholic; I am simply trying to stay true to the characters as well as the plot.)

The smell of smoke and blood assaulted my senses as Seras and I flew towards a burning London. The red sky was dotted with black helicopters, their black blades making constant whirring sounds I could feel in my bones.

I had to shout to hear my own voice over the rushing wind.

"So what exactly is the plan once we land in this clusterfuck?"

I felt her shoulders tense a bit.

"Well, I suppose we kill who we're supposed to!"

I rolled my eyes, this was just like him, go in shooting like a madman, and hope to survive.

My heart ached as I thought about Pip, but I had to finish this, my soul would not rest until I had.

"BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE VATICAN!"

My head jerked up at the sound of an amplified voice. I saw a white haired man in a glass box, being carried by a large helicopter.

He wore the drape of the Archbishop.

"Oh don't tell me the fucking Catholics are involved!"

It was more of a rhetorical question; it was quite obvious because of the battalion of helicopters surrounding the Archbishop, spouting flames onto the city. The flaming assaults looked oddly like angels as they poured onto the city.

"Well fuck. Not only are there Nazi's, there are Catholics. This is just GREAT!"

"Tilly get ready to roll!"

"Wha-?"

But before I could question her, Seras released her grip on me and I was falling.

Luckily, you couldn't spit without hitting a dead body, I landed on one and it cushioned my fall as I rolled onto the bloody streets, my injured shoulder burning the whole time.

I pushed myself up with a grunt and saw Seras standing in front of Sir Integra, surrounded by downed. . .

Priests?

In my experience with the Hellsing organization I didn't know why the sight surprised and slightly confused me. But you don't question your enemies.

You just kill them. I ran to them, putting a new case of bullets into my AK-47.

I took a stand next to Seras aiming at a young blond priest with twin pistols at his sides.

Integra and Seras were in the middle of a conversation as I took my stance.

"So you drank Mr. Bernadotte's blood? You are a true vampire now."

Seras grinned.

"Yes ma'am!"

My insides burned as I remembered the slurping and sucking noises I had heard as Seras had devoured my brother.

A dark haired woman drew her sword and the blond I was aiming at drew his pistols.

I cocked my AK.

"Show no mercy." I thought to myself.

"Enough of this!"

A deep Scottish voice caused my attention to waver. An even bigger blond man with a giant silver cross around his neck came forward.

"She is no longer anything you can handle."

He turned to Seras.

"You are truly an enemy to be reckoned with aren't you? Vampire Seras Victoria."

Seras's eyes widened in a way that made her look completely insane.

"That's right, Father Anderson. I am not afraid of anything anymore."

He chuckled.

"Your stare seems to come from the deepest pits of Hell, though you appear in the shape

of a human . . . Just what have you become?"

There was a pulse in the air, my shoulder ached and my head pounded as Seras's face lit up.

"He's coming!"

She looked toward the harbor, and I directed my gaze in the same direction.

A white fog was creeping over the ocean, and with it came a mangled black ship, a massive silhouette at the stern.

I remembered an old story Jonathon had told me years ago.

"When the world comes to its close a black ship will come forth, that will carry us to Heaven or Hell."

"A ghost ship."

The large blond man, Father Anderson, was laughing, it was a frightening sound, and Sir Integra was smirking in relief, her eyes closed as the smoke from her cigar swirled into the dark sky.

I gulped and crossed myself. I prayed quietly one last time, before the gates of Hell opened before my eyes.

And I saw the Devil.

As the ship drew closer, I felt a strong hand on my good shoulder, and Sir Integra drew me back whispering fiercely in my ear.

"You will get out of here and you will run. I don't care if you have to don an enemy uniform to hide yourself, just get yourself out."

I turned back and saw that Alucard had jumped from the Ghost ship. He had his guns in each hand and a look in his eyes that would make any man wish he was dead before he would have to come face to face with it.

I nodded stiffly.

For once I was glad I was nothing but puny human, in a war between supernatural freaks you tended to go wonderfully unnoticed.

I ran, just as I was ordered to, but to where I still didn't have a clue. I passed countless people, but none of them gave me a second glance. White soldiers wearing pointed masks, black soldiers with swastikas, dead civilians.

I stopped in the middle of a street, if you could call it that anymore, my breath came in ragged gasps and my heart pounded. And a voice was carried on the wind to my ears.

"SEARCH AND DESTROY! GIVE IT BACK TO THEM TENFOLD! DO NOT LET THEM LEAVE HERE ALIVE!"

That was when I felt it.

The air began to pulsate; it smelled of decay and fear. My stomach turned sharply and I retched onto the street.

I wiped my mouth on my sleeve, my knees were shaking, and tears were pouring down my face.

What on this good Earth could cause something like this?

With nothing left to do, I ran some more, my arms pumping at my sides, my shoulder burning, and my mind whirling as the feeling only grew stronger within every nerve, screaming at me to get as far away as possible.

But a strange, ethereal sight made me stop dead in my tracks.

Every building I had seen was burning or already in ash, there was nothing left untouched by this massacre.

The cathedral before me stood completely intact, stain glass and everything.

I remembered when the Wild Geese and I would go to church whenever we were posted someplace for a long time. The old priests that smelled of old candles and communion wine; the choirs singing hymns in Latin.

We hadn't been discriminate, any church we fancied we went into, most of them kicked us out, but some of the congregations had been very welcoming to our mad rabble of paid killers.

I hoped this would be one of them.

I went up the stone steps slowly, coming closer to the ornate carved door. The iron knocker was cold to my touch.

The sound of rapid gunfire pulled me out of my slow state. Without hesitation I pulled open the door, ran inside and slammed it shut behind me.

I could barely hear the gunshots behind the thick stone walls of the cathedral, my heartbeat slowed until

I heard footsteps.

"Hell is on the prowl this night, my child."

An old priest walked peacefully into the entry hall. I stiffened when I saw him, the adrenaline leaving me shaky.

"Do not worry; in this house of our Lord you will be protected. But tell me, why is such a young child like you, dressed as a soldier?"

"Because I am one Father."

He smiled sadly.

"One so young, and yet you have seen much evil haven't you?"

I only nodded, he was so peaceful, didn't he have any idea what was going on right outside his doors?

"But we all go into war for a reason don't we? Be it money, revenge, religion . . . People just never learn do they?"

He had a look on his face that was almost . . . Endearing, as if he was speaking of a naughty child. It unnerved me.

Loud screams caused me to look out the windows located by one of the pews. I ran over and looked out.

A sea of red was overtaking every soldier, leaving little behind afterwards. The priest came over and looked out with me.

"Mother of God."

Words failed me at that moment. The sheer power I saw before me.

It made me feel smaller than I already was.

But something else caught my eye, a figure clad all in black, standing ramrod straight, simply watching from a distance as the sea of death continued its warpath.

"Walter!"

My heart swelled with relief, and without a second thought I ran out to him.

As I drew closer though, my heart began to sink, his hair was no longer gray and the wrinkles around his eyes and mouth were gone. His face was cold and sharp, how I had imagined it to be if he was 30 years younger. It was not that sight that made me want to vomit again

It was the swastika stitched into the arm of his shirt.

I stopped running, prepared to run back to the church, but it was too late.

He had seen me, and a cruel smile touched his lips as he took in the expression of shock on my face.

"You bastard."

There was nothing around me anymore, just him, and the pain inside of me.

"WE TRUSTED YOU! YOU TRAITOROUS SON OF A BITCH!"

Nothing could contain my fury.

I was done with running.

I was done with hiding.

Too much had been taken from me to scurry away, fearing for my own life as others died. I was no longer getting paid to fight.

This war had become personal.

With a scream that ripped my throat, I ran at him.

Ready to kill him.

Ready to die trying.

To be continued . . .


	13. Chapter 13

I do not own Hellsing (Except Tilly)

It was only him before me. The look in his eyes, the cold detachment, as if I had never existed to him; I wanted nothing more than to see him bleed, to see his blood join that of so many others.

I brought up my AK and began to shoot at him, but somehow my bullets never seemed to reach him, just like the monster at the Hellsing Manor.

As I came so close to Walter I could have sliced him in half with my knife, strong hands grabbed my shoulders and pulled me back. I struggled against my unknown assailants grip, but it was unbreakable. I looked up and saw his face, a strong chiseled face with a slight black beard.

His eyes were bright red, the eyes that haunted my nightmares.

Every cell in my body screamed at me to run, I struggled more against his hold but it was useless. I looked back to where Walter had been standing; he had been replaced with a giant stampede of horse riding soldiers.

The man, I think it was Alucard, pulled me closer to him. His black cloak surrounding me as the stampede parted around him like the Red Sea.

Once the last straggling soldier had passed us by, I wrenched out of his grip.

"What did you do that for? I had him! He was right in my grasp and you let him get away!"

I looked back into his face and was shocked back in to silence. It was definitely Alucard, but there was something so different, I could hardly call them the same person. His expression was serious, and all traces of the cocky, blood sucking bastard had disappeared from his features.

He put his hand on my head and smiled sadly.

"Know your enemies, Mathilda Bernadotte. My master still has need of you in this war."

The voice was different as well; there was a slight trace of an accent that I couldn't place.

"One less of those fuckers would have been better than letting one live!"

He only chuckled.

"Now is not the time to be prideful. We still have work to do."

He turned his back to me and kneeled down, holding his arms out behind him.

I stood there, stunned for a moment before he looked back.

"We don't have all night."

I swallowed the bile rising in my throat and climbed onto his back.

The speed we took off at was dizzying; it made my ride with Seras look like a merry go round. I began to feel nauseous, not just because of the speed, but his aura as well. It was so overwhelming I took deep breaths to keep myself from vomiting again.

All around us the strange soldiers were killing our enemies in great hordes. Blood covered most of them, but none of them seemed to have any wounds.

Who are they?

"Where did they come from?"

I wasn't aware that I had said it out loud until Alucard responded.

"They are mine. My very being."

I heard groans from his men, inhuman sounds that grated at your ears.

I think I should have been asking myself, "What are they?" instead.

But I didn't want to know so badly anymore.

Just when I was getting used to the speed, Alucard stopped suddenly, and before us stood Seras and Integra.

I slid off his back and went to go stand by Seras. She was looking at her master in awe. I couldn't help but look at him that way as well. Was this the form Alucard had been born in? Was this the body he had intended to die in?

As we watched, he fell to one knee in front of Sir Integra, his hair and his cloak billowing behind him.

"Welcome back, Count."

He raised his head and looked at her. Fire meeting Ice.

"I've returned, Countess."

Seras crept up behind Integra.

"W-welcome back Master!"

He turned his gaze to her and she gasped and hid behind Integra. The display was rather silly, but I honestly couldn't blame her. With the old Alucard you knew when he meant to kill you . . . With this new incarnation though, his face remained stony, none of his thoughts betrayed in his face or speech.

Seras peeked out from behind Integra's back.

"Master . . . You originally had a beard didn't you?"

She giggled, but then his armored hand came up before her.

She cringed and shut her eyes, but he simply lay his hand gently on her head, as he had done to me earlier, and ruffled her hair.

"Seras . . . Seras Victoria."

He smiled down to her gently, much like a father would to his child, and Seras beamed back at him. In their own twisted and sick way, when you got to the very core of these monsters, they were family.

A great cry came from above, and I looked up to see Father Anderson bearing down upon us, a blade in each hand and one in his teeth; glowing yellow leaflets surrounding him.

Seras grabbed me and pulled me away just as Alucard drew his sword.

The blades met in a shower of heated sparks I could feel from where I was standing with Seras.

Alucard smirked.

"Splendid, my old nemesis."

Anderson straightened himself up.

"We are representatives of God, Agents of Divine punishment on Earth. Our mission is to eliminate every last bit of flesh of fools that oppose God!"

He brought his blades up before his face and made a cross with them.

"AMEN!"

Their blades clashed in an unholy blue flame, surrounding them both and spreading a searing heat.

Seras picked me up and threw me farther away from the battle.

"Run Tilly! If you get caught in this you'll be flayed alive!"

Though I hesitated to run, she didn't have to tell me twice. Like hell I would die because I got in the middle of some old rivalry.

I made the mistake of looking back while I was running. Instead of his new form, Alucard had returned to the form I had come to despise. His eyes were crazy and his guns never seemed to run out of bullets.

Anderson was being ripped apart, I couldn't see by what, but I could hear his grunts and bellows of pain. Every time he managed to slice Alucard, the wound would appear on one of the bloody soldiers.

Alucard jumped back behind his minions, laughing the whole time. I looked back at Anderson and swallowed the disgust rising in my throat.

His arm was barely attached. The only thing holding it to his body was a few tendons and muscles that hadn't been severed by Alucard's attacks.

I couldn't move, I know I should have run but something about this disgusting display held me in place.

I inhaled a shocked breath as Anderson grabbed the sleeve of his nearly severed arm in his teeth. The nerves in the fingers hadn't been damaged because he could still hold his blade; I assumed he meant to control it with violent thrashes of his head.

He was a warrior men and boys aspired to be, you couldn't help admire his perseverance. But you couldn't help but condemn his stupidity as well.

Alucard suddenly looked over at me, a look of glee on his face, and I heard his words as if he was standing next to me.

"How truly wonderful humans are."

I felt my heart quicken, sweat poured down my brow, and yet I still could not make myself move away from the scene.

A wave of red fog seeped from where Alucard was standing, and next thing I knew, separating Anderson from Alucard, was a sea of men, women, children, soldiers, priests, and people I couldn't recognize by their strange clothing.

Anderson charged forth.

It was amazing, even with is mangled arm he plowed through the sea of bodies as though they were nothing.

Alucard looked at Anderson, eagerness in his face. How long had it been since he had had a formidable opponent?

But Anderson soon came in contact with the stronger soldiers in Alucard's army. The horsemen I had seen before were running forth, their spears ready to pierce Anderson in 100 different places.

My vision went black just as I heard gunfire and Anderson screaming about damn fools.

"Major wants to meet you ever so badly, my dear young Tilly. Won't you care to join us for a late supper?"

My blood ran cold.

To be continued . . .


	14. Chapter 14

I do not own Hellsing (Except Tilly)

Whoever had grabbed me had decided not to knock me out. Instead, they handcuffed my hands tightly behind my back. They were either very confident or they didn't plan on letting me live long enough to try and escape. I managed to twist around to see that they were wearing a pure white bird's mask; just like doctors used to when Europe was infected with the Plague.

I knew I was well and royally fucked. Hell, I was in Fuckville, city center. But that didn't stop me from trying to bite his fingers off. They smirked and moved their hands just out of reach of my teeth.

They took me to a small building where my captor broke down the door and climbed to the roof where a black rope ladder was waiting.

"Up you go Miss."

The voice was high and a little breathy, but definitely male.

"Go shove it up your ass."

The bastard in the mask tsked.

"Now, now, none of that behavior in front of the Major, he demands respect you know."

I sneered.

"Over my cold dead body!"

"That could be arranged."

I caught a glimpse of white teeth as he smiled widely at me.

"But please behave; there is so much we want to know."

With that he grabbed my waist and tugged three times on the rope ladder. We lifted off the ground and I struggled against his hold. At this point I would rather fall to my death than go anywhere with him.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"And why the fuck not you freak!"

"Look down."

I did, and what I saw made my stomach turn.

The streets below us had become a feeding ground for the Nazi freaks. You could practically hear the gulps and tears as they feasted on whatever blood and flesh they could find.

He took my stillness as a sign of defeat, but how so very wrong he was.

I was thrown to the ground in front a massive armchair. The bird-man had brought me up to the biggest blimp that was in the sky, handing me off to a giant man with very light hair. He brought me to a large room, and then went off to a corner. The only light in the room was emanating from a backlit glass wall with a world map on it; the large armchair in front of the map. I stared at a pair of meticulously shined white shoes, I spit on them.

I looked up and saw an extremely fat blond man smiling down at me.

"You have spirit. . . I shall look forward to breaking it."

He had a very strong German accent, and every word grated at my ears.

"Just go back to your éclairs before I rip you limb from limb with my teeth."

He just laughed; this disgusting, high pitched, phlegmy laugh.

"You did say she had vampire in her didn't you Walter?"

Walter's voice, only much younger and with ten times more oil seeped from behind the armchair.

"She wasn't bitten, but yes the poison had to be contained through a seal on her left arm."

"Schrodinger, if you please."

A small white arm slithered over my shoulder, reaching for the sleeve of my coat. I snapped at it and managed to catch it in a death grip.

I felt whoever it was slapping the back of my head, their blows barely registered in my already very broken body, I only tightened my jaws, feeling my teeth break skin.

"STOP THIS!"

The Major's voice echoed around the room, his shoes clacked as he stepped down closer to me.

"Spit it out."

He sounded as if he was speaking to a disobedient pup. I shook my head, causing the person behind me to whimper in pain.

His glowing shoe swiped across my face in a very hard kick, causing me to lose my grip, along with a tooth.

"You are becoming quite irksome. Please give up soon, my patience is waning."

I spit out blood, some of it mine, some of it from the person's arm, the tooth making a tiny plinking noise as it bounced away.

"She bit me Hans! She must be insane!"

I looked over and saw a young boy with . . . Cat ears proudly showing off his war wound to the giant man who had brought me in.

This war was just getting weirder and weirder with every minute that passed.

"Now if you please, tell me what is Sir Integra's next move?"

I only looked up at him, the cut on my face had reopened from the kick, and blood was seeping down my face.

"Are you the one who sent that monster to the Hellsing Manor?"

He raised his eyebrows.

"Yes that was a rather embarrassing failure of Zorrin's, maybe if we don't-"

I didn't let him finish, with a scream of rage I shot to my feet. Though my hands were cuffed behind my back, I tackled the fat bastard to the ground using my legs, teeth, head, anything that could be used to cause bruises and gashes. My vision went red.

I wanted to see his blood; I wanted nothing more than to see his guts trailing all over this room. I wanted to rip into him until his own mother wouldn't recognize him any longer.

But pairs of hands pulled me off of him.

"YOU KILLED HIM! YOU'RE THE REASON! FIGHT ME! DEFEND YOURSELF! I WILL MURDER YOU! I WILL DRAIN YOU TILL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT! YOU KILLED HIM!"

The amused look on his face only made me increase my struggle. How I wanted his beating heart in my hand, to wipe that look off his face as I shoved it down his throat.

"Doc! You take her!"

The Major got up and smoothed himself out, it amused me to see his glasses were broken and blood was running in a thin trail from his nose and mouth. Though he had raised his voice, it soon went back to its creepily calm tone.

"She is not ready to cooperate. Fix that."

"I would be glad to Major."

That voice, it was the voice of the bird-man, the one who had brought me here.

He was wearing rubber gloves and strange glasses that had two tiny lenses on the edges, the crazy smile I had seen before very evident on his face.

"Come with me little specimen, let's open you up and see what gives you that thirst for blood shall we?"

I didn't really have a choice; the giant light haired man grabbed me, his grip like stone, but it didn't hurt.

I whispered to him as the man, Doc, led us down various corridors.

"Let me go and maybe I won't kill you."

He didn't even blink.

"I see, so would you like me to string up the Major's guts before or after yours?"

His head whipped around and his grip tightened painfully. His eyes had gone from icy blue to a feral red; it wasn't the same type as a vampire's, but more like a rabid animal. This was magnified by the way his lips had curled back to reveal sharp wolf-like teeth.

I gripped his wrist where he was clutching my arm, I tried to loosen his fingers, but they were made of steel.

"I'm not trying to get away I just want some feeling in my fingers you dumb oaf!"

His eyes faded back to blue and with his grip. The rush of blood was almost painful.

But something caught my eye; out of one of the round windows of the blimp I caught a glimpse of the city.

The whole thing was on fire, black, red, orange. . . It's all that was left.

I lowered my head as I was dragged along the halls. What fresh Hell was in store for me this time?

I'm sure whatever they threw at me I could take. . . What had I got to lose?

We reached a sterile white room, lit brightly with fluorescent lights; a single white table lined with metal clamps was the only thing in there. Besides the silver table that held a manner of grotesque tools.

I stood before the operating table, thinking,

"_What a damn pathetic way to die."_

"Take her coat and rip off her sleeves Hans, I want to open up her arm first, see how the venom affects the blood vessels."

The light haired man, Hans, only nodded. He turned me away from him and took off my coat, throwing it on the floor. I looked and it was covered in burn marks and blood. He ripped the sleeves of my shirt off at the shoulder seams; it had been awhile since I had seen my bare arms. They were pale, with tiny orange freckles dotting them. On my left arm the silver cuff was a sick reminder of what had happened my first day at Hellsing.

Hans picked me up and laid me out on the table. And questions began to swirl in my head. Why wasn't I fighting him? Why was I just lying down waiting to be dissected like a frog? I couldn't die this way, I had come too damn far to quit now.

But as these thoughts entered my head, Hans had already clamped the metal restraints over my wrists and elbows. I began to kick my legs, hoping to maybe break his nose, but he simply held both my legs down with one hand as he finished restraining my legs at the ankles and knees. Finally, he clamped a giant metal beam across my torso, adjusting it so it fit snugly.

I could hear the demented surgeon humming as he washed his hands and prepared his tools, Hans simply stood there, like a statue that would only come to life at the command of his masters.

"Oh Hans this is a surprise, you want to stay and watch? Well, just don't get in my way. I've been waiting a long time to open up someone with vampire venom in their system. Don't mess it up for me."

My stomach heaved as the doctor snapped his gloves and picked up a tiny scalpel, his grin getting wider and wider as he advanced on me.

"Let's see what makes you tick little Miss. Shall we?"

I closed my eyes and waited.

**To be continued . . .**


	15. Chapter 15

I do not own Hellsing (Except Tilly)

I felt the burning pain in my arm, the same I had felt my first night at Hellsing. Bit by bit the Doctor was drilling through the silver cuff, Hans calmly watching from the corner. A calm that I hadn't felt in years settled over me. My mind began to go places I had not allowed it too in just as many years.

I began to pray.

"_Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,_

_And let perpetual light shine upon them._

_He shall be justified in everlasting memory,_

_And shall not fear evil reports."_

There was another sharp slap across my face, blood streaking over my eyes. The Doctor stood over me.

"We'll have none of that here. You are truly are a child if you believe that infernal God is still watching someone as pathetic as you."

My mouth wouldn't obey me, I wanted to tell him what a bastard he was and that I would be there to meet him at the Gates of Hell. I wanted to tell him the prayer wasn't for me.

The screech of a red alert interrupted the Doctor's drilling.

"Damned it all! Hans make sure she doesn't go anywhere!"

He quickly left the room, the burning in my arm continued, but it was duller now that Doc wasn't holding back the silver he had cut.

Hans stood up and walked over to me, kneeling right by my head. He brought his face closer and closer, I struggled to pull away, but the metal cuffs were unforgiving.

When his face was merely inches from mine I closed my eyes tightly, but I only felt something hot and wet running up the cut in my face.

I opened my eyes and saw that he had begun to lick the wound, like how a dog would lick its paw after having a thorn pulled out.

"S-Stop it!"

I wasn't sure whether to be disgusted at this, but something about Hans was more animal than human, maybe he meant this as a comfort. Or maybe he was just being a creep.

The sound of the red alert alarm had been replaced with a series of gunshots and explosions. The sound of the most recent explosion caused Hans to shoot to his feet.

He looked at the door, and I began to smell smoke and burning metal. I smirked; I would have known that smell from ten miles away.

Hellsing had come.

Hans looked at me then back at the door, then in one swift movement he had ripped the metal restraints and picked me up. He slung me onto his back, and tied my hands in front of his neck with one of my ripped sleeves.

"Where are you taking me? Put me down! Put me down now!"

I began to knee him in the back, my strength seeming to have been returned at my freedom.

I began to slide down his back and my arms felt like they were being ripped from their sockets, so I had no choice but to quit attacking him and grip with everything I had.

I felt heat and pieces of shrapnel hit my back as we ran out of the operating room. I turned my head and looked back; the room we had just left was now engulfed in flames.

Once again, I was at a loss. Nothing seemed to be black and white anymore, Hans had been my enemy and I had been his.

But he had saved my life.

"Put. Her. Down."

I turned back and saw Seras standing in front of us. She was covered in blood but seemed uninjured. Integra emerged from behind her; one of her eyes was bloody, hiding the extent of the injury.

"He's simply protecting his new pup Seras."

Seras's eyes glowed like coals, her face mirrored the face Pip would make whenever one of the guys got too rough with me during training. That look nearly made me break down right there.

Hans suddenly put up his hand and pointed, Integra smirked.

"Such an honest little lapdog . . . Thank you."

She ran off in the direction he had indicated.

Hans untied my hands from around his neck and stuck me into a little alcove in the corridor that had once held a fire extinguisher. He pointed at me then pointed at where I was sitting, indicating I was to stay put.

Like hell I was.

Hans and Seras began going at it like rabid dogs. Bullets flying, blood spurting, their movements so quick all I saw were red, blue and green blurs. All I wanted was to get out of there. The ship began getting too small, mold crawling up the walls, the smell of blood suffocating me.

When Seras had Hans pinned to a wall, I took the opportunity to jump out of the alcove. As I ran toward the doors I looked back. Hans had a pained expression on his face and he threw something at me.

It was Pip's hat.

I picked it up and set it on my head, tipping it in his direction. He only clenched his teeth and nodded.

I took a grenade out of my pants pocket and ripped the pin out with my teeth, throwing it at the doors.

As soon as the doors were out of my way I ran out into the night.

The silence was what scared me most as I disembarked the Nazi ship. There were no screams, no roars, no gunshots, absolutely nothing. The fires I had seen from the blimp window were gone; the only red I saw was the puddles of blood at the feet of two dark figures.

Alucard's back was to me, but I could see Walter, his face twisted in rage, blood seeping from his mouth and nose. His monocle was gone and he looked no older than I was, maybe a few years older, but there was no mistaking those eyes. The eyes of a traitorous bastard who deserved to die.

I was tired; I was tired of standing behind others, being protected.

Being weak.

I went up by Alucard, his form once again changed, and I held out my cuffed arm to him.

"Take it off."

He barely even looked.

"Kill me when this is over."

He clenched his teeth, his eyes narrowed, and though it looked he was in pain, his arm reached out, and in one swipe, the silver cuff was gone from my arm.

The pain was beautiful, because it was power. No longer would I be slung over shoulders and chained, hoping to be rescued. I could fight, for Pip, for Seras, and Sir Integra

I turned to Walter and flexed my fingers, feeling Alucard's venom, his power flowing up and down my arm in a cold fire.

"I will end you."

My hand turned into a blade, my fingers flat and straight, aiming right for his heart.

To be continued . . .


	16. Chapter 16

Blood was pounding in my ears, but I didn't just want to hear it.

I wanted to feel it on my hands.

Walter looked amused as I came toward him, my hand ready to rip out his traitorous heart, it only made me angrier. I felt like I was moving through water, time had slowed until each heartbeat was an eternity. But as my pointed hand made contact with Walter's flesh, time resumed.

I fought with all I had, with the one arm that was my salvation, and my undoing. As I screamed with delight at the sight of Walter's blood, I realized I had become the very monster I had been sent to kill.

I was no different than Alucard, I was no different from that deplorable creature that lived in the dark, and had to feed on the living, as it has no life of its own.

I was a monster.

I had chosen this path, and I could never turn back.

"May God have mercy on me. . .  
>But I have no choice."<p>

I felt an enormous pain in my side; I looked down to see glowing wires piercing through me. I was thrown back skidding on the blood soaked streets, but I wasn't finished yet,

I couldn't be finished yet. I never did anything half assed, and if I was going to burn in Hell with these bastards, I should at least get there with a goddamn medal of Satan pinned to my chest.

With each flick of his wrist, Walter tore into a new piece of me that hadn't already been, I probably looked like ribbon candy, but he didn't get out unscathed, I broke his nose, took off three fingers, and some hair for my troubles.

Walter sneered at me.

"The deepest circle of Hell is reserved for imbeciles like you."

"I have a feeling you'll be stopping by real soon Walter old bastard."

With a blow to the head, I was down, lying in a pool of my blood, or someone else's I couldn't tell anymore. The sky above me looked so peaceful, the stars undisturbed by the doings of us mere mortals.

I couldn't move, my legs, my arms. I wasn't even sure I had those anymore, but I felt the burning in my one arm, I looked over and saw it was fairly undamaged. I looked back up at the sky.

My time had come.

I took off Pip's hat and placed it over my chest and looked at Alucard.

"Do it. You promised."

My voice was rough, I could barely manage a whisper. But I knew he heard me, the way his eyes narrowed at the promise of fresh blood.

He walked over, his red duster barely brushing the cobblestones and he kneeled before me.

"You would have made a fine Fledgling Mathilda Antoinette Bernadotte. But it is never too late."

With no other words but those, he ripped into my arm, tearing it from my body as if it were no more than a stubborn bramble.

I didn't scream, I couldn't. I was too tired. The sadistic blood sucker had left me to die of blood loss. I guess I could always haunt his stupid little underground cave.

But the burning had returned, I could feel it flowing through my entire body.  
>With those thoughts I was gone.<p>

Blackness becoming my new home.

I awoke to a searing pain in my . . . Well everywhere to be exact. I felt like a mummy, wrapped up like a sausage. If this is Hell, it's worse than they made it out to be.

I was in a hospital, the Hellsing logo painted on nearly every wall.

"If he wasn't already dead and damned. . ."

My thought was cut off by a familiar voice, paired with the stench of cigar smoke.

"You're awake, that impertinent little imbecile was always incapable of following orders."

Oh yes, I was definitely in Hell.

Epilogue : 20 years later

I returned to Hellsing HQ at precisely God-knows-it's-too-early-o'clock. My arm was giving me trouble due to the rain, so as soon as I was inside the Manor I detached the infernal thing and threw it on the couch. I always felt oddly unbalanced with only a stump left in place, but one couldn't complain . . . Too much.

"How was Singapore Ms. Bernadotte?"

"Smelly. Any news?"

The newest butler was a plump little man with red hair and beady eyes, he seemed to  
>think his height was a good excuse for staring at anything that resembled breasts.<p>

"Mr. Garrett called again, wants you to reconsider-"

I raised my hand.

"Something important please."

"But Mr. Garrett is the Vice President of-"

I cut him off with a look.

"Sir Integra asked you come to her office as soon as you arrived."

"There now was that so hard?"

I walked away before he could answer, heading for the study.

The Manor had been rebuilt to be an exact model of the old Manor that had been destroyed 20 years ago. Even the artwork of somber faced men was the same as you walked to the Grand Study.

I knocked on the sturdy wood door, there was a mutter so I took that to be an invitation inside.

"You blew up a fishing port. An entire bloody fishing port, can't you do anything without it involving pyrotechnics? And take off that hat Tilly."

"Well you know what they say."

"Actually I don't but keep it to yourself, if your past missions are any indication,  
>you live by twisted philosophies and misguided wisdom."<p>

"Hey at least I was back in time."

Finally Sir Integra Hellsing looked up from her papers.

"Noted."

I looked into her blue eye for a moment, her graying hair covering her missing one.

"Still not back yet I take it?"

"You take it correctly, and we are disgustingly short-handed."

I smirked and put my hat back on as she stood, pulling on her coat.

Without any words needing to be said, we walked out of the Manor and into the cold London morning. We had made this same walk 20 years ago with the bits and pieces of soldiers we were able to save, including Pip. Every year on the same day, and no other, we would come back.

The day my brother died.

The day Alucard disappeared.

The day Seras became a full vampire.

The day Walter betrayed us.

The day Integra lost her eye.

The day I lost my humanity.

We came back to remember why we fought, why we sullied our hands time after time with creatures of the night. Why we even bothered.

So no one, no man, woman or child would have to trek to an unmarked grave, searching for some sign that they were even living at all.

"It will never make sense will it?"

"I don't ever want it to."

Integra looked at me her mouth set in a grim line.

"Because if there was sense in that bloodbath . . . Someone would do it again."

She smirked.

"Apparently you know nothing of mankind."

It was my turn to smirk.

"Maybe that's because I am not mankind."

She took a small knife from her pocket and slashed it cross her palm.

"That is true."

She squeezed her hand the blood dripping down onto the frozen grass, I got down on one  
>knee and held my mouth open, receiving her life as mine.<p>

"I hope your Master returns soon, you are becoming quite a handful."

I smiled up at her, making sure she saw my fangs.

She frowned at me wrapping her bloodied palm in a quick expert manner.

"If you think you're getting a day off Tilly you are sadly mistaken, you have eternity and we best use it well."

I rolled my eyes at her back, but I followed her, like the obedient dog I had replaced.


End file.
